I think I'm in the final stage of grief for the fucking Jets... (and other stuff)

First of all, I want to say, on behalf of all Jets' fans, thanks to Chad Pennington. He will always be one of my favorite Jets because he has heart, grit and great leadership skills. His career with the Jets is likely over, and it's unfortunately time. Let's hope he mentors Clemens and Clemens learns a thing or two the last half of the season, because Chad will likely be gone after this year.

Now, as to the title of this particular post, I think I have finally overcome the five stages of grief as far as the Jets go. I was definitely in denial when the Jets played the Giants. I thought FOR SURE the Jets were going to win, up until the 4th quarter. I thought, "This can't be happening" as the Jets shit the bed and lost.

Then, when the Jets played the Eagles, I was in denial but it quickly turned to anger as they again shit the bed and lost a game they should have won. I complained that it was "not fair" and "why me", especially after the other team I loved, the New York Metropolitans, ripped my heart out and stomped on it after being in first place for 160 games of the season.

Then, with the Bengals, I started the bargaining process, "Just let the Jets win and I won't kill myself today." Ha ha, not that drastic, but I was just thinking if the Jets could beat the awful Bengals then the rest of the season could be at least okay with a few wins and Chad could show the rest of the world that he was still a starting quarterback in the NFL.

Finally, I went through the last two steps of grief, (depression and acceptance) yesterday. After Evans caught that ball that ended the game (although it was over once the Jets punted on their last real drive) I was depressed. I got more depressed when Clemens came out, although I was relieved in a way that it was finally over for Chad. Regardless, he looked depressed just standing there, like "Fucking A. I can't believe it's finally over." I saw him talking to my other favorite Jet, J. Vilma, who apparently wants out and the two were probably commiserating with one another. Then Chad was alone, just watching the game like any other back up player, and it was depressing. Finally, the game was over, and Clemens threw two interceptions and about three good passes, I finally accepted that yes, the Jets blow this year. Their season is over I hope they get some good defensive players in next year's draft. They may or may not win 2 games the rest of the season, maybe 3 if they are lucky. Vilma is going to be gone by the end of the year and I don't even understand what happened to him. Chad is done and will likely never start a meaningful game again (although I hope he does somewhere). Clemens is the future and he needs the rest of the season to have Chad mentor him and to get some experience.

Now that I have accepted that the Jets blow I feel better. There are still traces of depression but there's nothing anyone (including, apparently, the Jets' coaches) to stop the Jets from sucking this year. I hope Clemens can make it interesting. I am not looking forward to when the Jets play the Pats in December. I see the final score being 80-17, and I'm not kidding. No matter what, I'm still going to root for them, and it will be interesting to see how Clemens develops the rest of the season. Oh, and if Mangina doesn't start Clemens now, he needs to be fired, immediately. But you know what, it's going to be okay!

With all of that said, Go Jets!

OTHER RANTS....

1. Let's talk about the mother fucking Patriots. I fucking HATE them so much it makes my stomach cancer flare up. These cunts keep running up the score on teams like fucking Bobby Bowden used to do (when he had good teams) in college. 52-7? Bellicunt goes for it on 4th down when he is up 38-0 and 45-0? They keep passing the ball? And that fucking cunt Brady (who was wearing the gayest hat in the world at the post-game press conference and yes, I know his girlfriend probably bought it for him and I am jealous but still) can't even give the ball to his fucking running back but he has to hog all the glory and score two TDS himself? Not only is a jerkoff, but he is fucking killing my fantasy football team (I have Maloney or however you spell it and I lost to fucking Unruly - losing in FF almost hurts my heart as much as a Jets loss)!!!!!!! What the fuck!!!!!!!!! There is no reason to like the Pats. Their coach is a cheating tool, the quarterback is an absentee father, and they are too fucking good for their own good. I hope the following things happen:

1. The Simpson erase the episode Brady guest starred on forever and never release it on DVD.
2. Brady breaks his fucking leg in 20 places. (What ever happened to putting bounties on players? Why can't Mangina show some balls and put a bounty out on Brady, that would be the most awesome thing in the world!)
3. Bellicunt's sons or whatever offspring he has get another DWI and embarrasses him again.
4. Bellicunt gets hit in the head by an errant Peyton Manning pass (hopefully intentional) and he needs brain surgery and misses the rest of the season.

While I want all of that to happen, what is probably going to happen is that the Pats will go undefeated and win the fucking Super Bowl. The Colts have no chance next weekend, unless they score 65 points. Oh, the Simpons creators will never pass up on opportunity to make money, so forget about getting rid of episode of a DVD release. Shit, Brady will even commentate on that one.

2. England saw the worst football game of the year yesterday. Yeah, that is going to make them love American football, a 13-3 mudbowl with the shittiest team in the NFL and the most boring. Give me a break. Send the Bengals over there, with the gay crackhead, he would have riled up the crowd. There was no TD celebrations, (of course because boring Eli scored), no fun plays, nothing. It was as boring as a regular season baseball game between the Kansas City Royals and the fucking Pittsburgh Pirates. Who the fuck cares? Oh, and do the players have to keep complaining about the field and the long plane ride and the small hotel rooms. It's fucking Eurpoe! Get over it! No, it's not the same as the fucking Los Angeles Radisson, the room is smaller, and guess what the fucking food is a little bit different too. Jesus, you would think the game was being played in fucking Japan or some shit. It's England, you can at least understand everyone, right? Yeah, it's just like America, except most people have fucked up teeth! (Seriously though, they don't. There are a lot of hot chics in England). (If they were in Japan they would say, "Everyone is talking in this fucked up language and I can't understand what they are saying? Don't they speak American? NO! You shithead, you are in fucking Japan!) Regardless, if I were a Giants player I would have gone to the pubs and gotten hammered, especially after the game. There would have been an international incident. I also would have never cried about the time difference and how my schedule was fucked up. Waaa! Waaaaa! Why is Strahan in such a hurry to get back to America, all that he has to welcome him is an empty house, a cunt ex-wife, bills from lawyers, solicitations from dentists all over the world, and probably some cokehead strippers (okay, that's pretty cool).

3. The Red Sox won the World Series. Hey Figs, how was the walk back to your house from Rocky Stadium after that happened? I'm sure it was great (for a Boston fan). The Sox are the team to beat this century so far. With Gay-Rod opting out he'll probably play for them next year. I hope that cunt never wins a World Series.

4. Rutgers shits the bed again. I have no respect for them after the Navy booing, so fuck them and all those stupid fucks who paint themselves red to watch the games. The sight of the dejected look in their eyes after the third quarter (as they sat in the pouring rain, still their red paint glistening but never washing off) I laughed at their patheticness. This could have been their year too, oh well.

5. Do you think Tina Fey is hot?

I have been watching "30 Rock" and it definitely one of the best shows on TV. I can't figure out whether or not Tina Fey is hot. Let's face it, she has some crazy scar on her face and I don't know how it happened. She refuses to talk about it but said it happened during her childhood. Also, her ears are rather large and seem to be slanted or something. But, he is cute, she has her moments when she looks okay and she is smart and funny. So what do you think? I ask you, two readers of this blog, whether or not Fey is hot... I will say, "a little." However, she is a different kind of hot than Alexandria Ambroisia or however the fuck you say her name, because double-A is smoking hot, no matter what ridiculous get-up Victoria Secret makes her dress up in.

Time To Take Out the Patriots

Is anyone else f%#&^* sick and tired of hearing the media whack off to the New England Patriots yet? It's week 8 and I can't take it anymore. Something needs to happen....

Defensive Ends, far and wide, heed this call: Take out Tom Brady. I'm saying make it a blatant late hit if you have to. Other DE's in the NFL will mail you money to cover the expense of your suspension and fine. I'm willing to send a hundred bucks right now, millions of others who want their teams NFL season to count for something will follow suit. You won't feel the slightest financial pinch, I assure you.

I'm talking, really take him out. Leonard-Marshall-on-Joe-Montana style in the 1990 NFC Championship Game between the New York Football Giants and the San Francisco 49'ers (aka The Greatest Game Ever Played). Flushed by an edge-rushing Lawrence Taylor, Cool Hand Joe stopped to rear back a pass, what he didn't know was that Leonard Marshall had fallen behind him and had gotten up and was ready to kill him.

KA-PLOW!!!! Marshall creamed him from the back, ball came out, Giants recovered and won the game. But the part I want to emphasize is that Marshall not only slammed Montana down and came down with all his force and weight, he bent Montana's throwing hand back on the way down.

Do I feel bad about recommending a dirty play? FUCK NO! That shit happens under every pile up in every game anyway. It's like the Spygate scandal. An unsavory and unspoken part of the game. Just look at this down here, tell me your Jet fan heart wouldn't be bursting with joy if you saw a crumpled Tom Brady lying broken just as Montana in this picture below:

And tell me every other team in the NFL wouldn't spontaneously rejoice all at once all across the country. I want to see Dwight Freeney striding away just like good old Lenny here. I am the biggest Colts fan in the world come next weekend. I want them to knock these smarmy Patriot motherfuckers out. I want their zombie fucking coach - Belichick- to choke on a pretzel just like Dubya. Only Belichick, I'm sure, probably has food tasters or just blends it all up in a blender and drinks his meals because it's 'more efficient'.

DOWN WITH THE PATS!!!!

Ok, back to business! Jets are going to win this week or else...

I'm going to write another gay blog? Ha ha, no! I only did that because I lost a bet in my fantasy football league. I am losing too many bets this year in both the fantasy and real world, and it's starting to piss me off. Or maybe it's giving me stomach cancer, but more on that later.


The Jets are going to win this week against the shitty Bills. Why? Because they have to, and Chad is playing for his job every week. Frankly, I'm surprised they didn't bench him this week with the season practically over, but hey, I like watching Chad run the Jets offense so I don't have a problem with it. (Although if they lose again this week Mangina has to start Clemens, no question about it).


You know who I would like to see have a breakout game and actually SCORE A TOUCHDOWN?



YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, OUR MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR RUNNING BACK, THOMAS JONES! I mean, look at this fucking guy, he is huge! He has been running the ball pretty well when given the chance. I just don't understand why the Jets aren't using him more. He carried the ball 12 fucking times against Cincinnati, and they needed to run the ball in the second half in that game!

Regardless, Jonesy only got 35 yards against the Bills the first time out, so they better be looking to give him the ball more this time.

As for the defense, I prayed to God today that they would stop that little homo Trent Edwards and the rest of the Bills offense this Sunday. God sent down lightning bolts at me but amazingly missed, because Him and I don't agree on a lot of things. Like, for instance, He thinks I should be a good person, and I am fucking dickhead. He thinks marriage is sacred, and I have a thing for Tiauana whores. (Kidding!). Anyway, God won't answer my prayers, but maybe the Jets defensive players will. Let's face it, we're stuck with this 3-4 nonsense, and it works about as well as appeasement did prior to WW II. Regardless, the Jets have to do their best with it. It amazes me that the media is calling for Vilma's head, when he was a stud in the 4-3 defense. Yes, he's not built for the 3-4 and he's having problems, but the guy is still fucking good!!!! I don't want the Jets to get rid of him, because 1). I have his jersey, so does my son and 2). He's fucking good! (More No. 1 than No. 2, but whatever).

Anyway, I'm hoping the Jets win this week, and I'm not going to make any predictions, because they are always a load of shit and I just randomly pick numbers. I make predictions on Unruly's Iron Hills blog, because I don't care. But I just want the Jets to win, I don't give a shit what the score is.

Let's Go Jets!!!!!!!

OTHER NEWS...

In my personal opinion I think I have stomach cancer, or at least an ulcer. I'm going to the doctor today to see what's up. Regardless, all this thought of cancer has made me think of a brilliant new reality TV show called "Three Months". Basically, the premise is the "star" has three months to live, and cameras follow him around for those three months while he gets into adventures showing that everyone should live life to its fullest because you never know what can happen. At the end of the three months, the "star" of course dies. However, if he hangs on for longer his contract will contain a clause that he has to blow his brains out at the end of the three months. It's only fair. If the guy has 4 months to live they can call it "Four Months". Regardless, I think that in today's fucked up reality-obsessed times it would be a huge hit! I'm kind of hoping I have stomach cancer so I can be the first one on it. (Of course, I would have to forego treatment, but who wants treatment anyway, I'm not giving up boozing and eating red meat no matter what). It would just be me, my dog and my camera crew. I can see the promos now, "This week on 'Three Months', Brian visits the Bunny Ranch and goes bareback" Or "Tonight, on 'Three Months', Brian needs money and is forced to rob a Commerce Bank, will he spend the last three weeks of his life in a Texas jail?" This is gold. I hereby patent this idea!

Oh, and don't feel bad for me if I actually get stomach cancer, because 1). I probably deserve it after this post and 2). It's still funny if I get it and 3). I'll be rich of my TV idea and at least my family will be taken care of!

GOOOOOO JETS!!!!!!

Let's Get This Thing Right

Okay Jets fans, the ship is listing, it's true. BUT WE ARE NOT SUNK YET.

Does anyone remember the 1999 New York Jets team, coached by your legend and mine- Bill Parcells? They started out 1-6, had the Bye in Week 8 and then won 7 of 9 to finish with a respectable 8-8. It wasn't respectable about the record itself, but they were one of the best teams in the league despite their record. NO ONE wanted to play them coming down the stretch because the Jets would put a serious dent in their playoff hopes. The Miami Dolphins that year lost to the Jets TWICE in four weeks. That New York Jet team had the attitude that it was going to the playoffs even though there was little hope.

Well, listening to Mangini's press conference after the Catastrophe in Cincy, he sounded like he was ready to fight somebody. The frustration is there because the Jets put together 2/3 a game and that other 1/3 remains elusive. Take this Cincy game, the Offense explodes! Special Teams does their jobs! Defense took the second half off.......

The Giants game. Defense scores a touchdown! Special Teams scores a TD on a 98-yard kickoff return! Offense dominates in the fist half! Then takes the second half off....

What I am saying is: the Jets show glimpses of that team last year. The losses are frustrating and they keep us from seeing any progress that might be made each game. I didn't think Chad could throw a ball 55 yards in the air, but he did it a Cincy on Sunday. Thomas Jones was starting slow, we thought maybe he doesn't have it any more, then he runs for 139 yards.

What we need is one week where all 4 quarters the Jets stay even keel and focused. Focus only on the job at hand, the next play.

Next, we acknowledge what isn't working. The Jets defense is a 4-3 and plays to the talents of their defensive players better that way. Vilma is a middle linebacker, not one of two middle linebackers in the 3-4. The D line is better with 4 guys than with 3, which frees up Vilma to use his smarts and speed to play like Ray Lewis. Revis is the real deal and Kerry Rhodes can lead the secondary. Mangini, organize who you have. not what you would ideally like them to do. The 3-4 is a better way to DISGUISE your defense, but guess what? 4-3 defensive teams win the Super Bowl too.

After that, focus only on running the football and stopping the run. I'll tell you where Chad can be super effective, -play action. You've got burner receivers in Coles and Cotchery.

Simple football. Forget the record, the playoff chase, the fucking bad karma Patriots. Win this week.

Tom Brady should have more bastard children (and by the way, the Jets blow...)

Can you blame the guy for leaving Bridget Moynhan? I mean, he left her for this:






This woman is smoking. As much as I'd like to say that Brady has been affected by the fact that old Bridge is blowing him off and, according to stupid fucking entertainment reporters, not letting him see his son, Brady is like a robot and just playing football, bastard child or not. The guy threw 27 TDs in 7 fucking games. Six yesterday! It's insane. Maybe because he has this to look forward to after games:




Maybe that is why he is playing so well? I highly doubt she has a Annie Savoy/Ebby Calvin LaLoosh type of relationship with Brady that is leading him to play so well, it is most likely the opposite. She promises him gang bangs with models for every game he wins. Oh, and to you two morons who thought MIAMI was going to give the Pats problems, nice predictions! You are worse than me managing my fantasy football team! The Pats/Fins game was over in the first 10 minutes when it was 14-0. The Pats offense just cannot be stopped. Why? I have one answer:




The Pats are going to win the Super Bowl this year, write that shit down. It's happening. The Colts/Pats playoff game will be entertaining, but the Pats will roll (even if the Colts beat them in the regular season, who cares). Bellicunt apparently took offense to the fact that everyone in the world thinks he is a big, fat loser cheater, and he has something to prove. I'm sure it must be miserable to be one of his players, but they are responding to his tactics and they sure like to win. The only weakness I see is their defense, but when you score about 38 points a game (or more) who the fuck cares. They can stop other teams enough to win. On a side note, the NFC blows. They shouldn't even allow them to have a team in the Super Bowl this year.


As for the Jets, well, they fucking blow. Chad played pretty well all considered. Playing Clemens will not change anything. They need a defensive transplant, or a new coach that plays a fucking defense that allows it to use the weapons it has, (i.e., Vilma, Hobson, Robertson, etc.). The defensive scheme the Jets are using blows. Clemens can throw the ball harder, but does it matter when the other quarterback can fucking sit down in a lazyboy and do the New York Times crossword puzzle before he has to even think about throwing a pass? It's a fucking joke.



Honestly, I echo Unruly's statements, (minus the myriad of spelling errors) there isn't much to say or do at this point. Changing the QB may be an option, but this week it wasn't Chad's fault, unless they blame that interception in the 4th quarter with deciding the game (it didn't). Who knows?!



Anyhoo, the Giants won again, yeah for those fucks. Tom Coughlin is apparently more relaxed and actually jokes with players now. Maybe because what the fuck does he care, he is a lame-duck and has nothing to lose. I hope he does well and they re-sign him so he can turn into the old Coughlin next year and the Giants will suck again. I have to say, their defense did look pretty good for the most part, even old gappy-tooth man Strahan is getting a couple sacks here and there. That Osi guy is pretty fucking good too, but I digress, fuck them, they aren't going anywhere in the playoffs even if they win 12 games this year, which they won't.



The bottom line is that I'm losing a lot of money and pride on bets involving the Jets and Giants this year, and it's bullshit. Can't the Jets just win for me for fuck's sake? Don't I matter to them? ha ha ha



Speaking of bets, my next post is going to be about how I want to have gay sex with a Dallas Cowboy to be named later. Why, you ask? Well because I lost a bet when my fantasy football team got spanked this week. I of course thought for sure I was going to win, so it was very upsetting when I realized last night that my FF team shit the fucking bed and now I am going to look like an asshole. Oh well! Such is life. Serves me right for having confidence in a team that gets your hopes up every year and you think is going to do great and really should win, especially this week. I should know that it is pointless to root for teams because they just let you down, week after week. First the Mets, then the Jets, now my fucking cunty shitty fantasy football team. Motherfucker.

Wown wown (that is supposed to be a fading trumpet sound)

Ok Jet fans, no reason not to be optimistic here. No need to make other plans on Sunday's. Don't give away your tickets. Stop cutting out eye holes in that paper bag.

Nope, just keep bending over because eventually it will hurt so bad it will feel good. And if you don't say, "thank you Mannenbaum, may I have another", it will keep hurting. So just go with the flow on this one.

Actually, I am not sure what to say, write or even do anymore regarding the Jets. I have been a Jets fan for 30 years now. I have been a Jet fan, longer that I have done anything else. Longer than I have been married. Longer than I went to school for. Longer than I had pubic hair.

So...what that hell do I do? I don't really have a salution. What is so frustrating is that you can't really blame Chad. The guy is the only thing we got going for us. But the fact that he doesn't have any velocity isn't helping.

I guess they should put in Clemmens only because, "why not?" But not for any other reason. Not because Chad is S**ting the perverbial bed. Because he is not. You only change the QB because, "Why not?"

So with that said, I will go back to bed and wait another 10 months before I can have anything Jet related to be excited about.

Smell ya later!

I'm afraid to even write anything............

Can they please just win this week?

I mean, really. The fucking Bengals blow. Granted, they have some serious offensive firepower, (Palmer, Chad, Rudi is going to play, and that other WR with the fucked up name).

Look at this fucking guy! If he wasn't wearing a football uniform you would think he was a fucking gay crackhead if you just saw him on the street. That being said, I like the fact that he is nuts and he backs up his shit talk, so that warrants my respect.

Regardless, the Jets have to do some things right to win on Sunday. Here are things I think are important, but again, I am just some stupid fuck who writes on this fucking blog because my buddy asked me to and I happen to be bored at work today, so my opinion means absolutely nothing.

Keys to Victory:


1. Run the ball like they did last week! T Jones was running roughshod all over the Eagles, who have a much better defense than Cincy. (That's not saying much of course).

2. Better Playcalling - give the fucking ball to TJ when it is (insert down here) and 1. Let's stop with the fucking Hanover Park High School play where the QB does a sneak up the middle. That play works once every 5 tries and the defense knows it is coming EVERY TIME! Get a fucking clue.

On a side note, Chris Baker was reprimanded for telling the Star Ledger that they should have given Jones the ball when it is was second and one. They should have given Baker a fucking bonus for having the balls to call it like it is. Please! At least they didn't fine him though, maybe because they knew they were fucking stupid for not calling that play.

3. Chad cannot make mistakes. I'm not saying the guy has to throw for 300 yards with 4 TDs, but stop throwing interceptions for fuck's sake! There is no question that Chad is playing for his job from here on out, and for his sake, he better not fuck it up. Maybe a good outing will give him confidence for next week. If he is playing poorly, I would not be surprised if a new QB is starting the second half this week.

4. The D needs to make plays like it did last week. They gave up a shitload of yardage, but they made some important stops when they had to. The Eagles only scored one TD last week, and again, some better tackling would have helped stop that lucky score.

5. The mental aspect that they know they can't lose this game. If they do their season is effectively over, not like it's not now, but they still have a shot if they get their shit together this week.


I think they will win this week, I don't know if Chad is going to play the whole game if he starts out by playing like shit, but we'll have to wait and see.

My prediction (and they have been awful so far this year):

Jets: 27
Homos: 24


Who the fuck knows, but I know it will be close and they are both going to score some points.


All I can say is: Gooooooooo Jets!


RANDOM NOTES:


Can you believe Vinny Testaverde is still fucking playing? Unbelievable. That guy is going to be playing in 2020, and calling timeouts to change his fucking Depends diaper.


The GMen face another "Trap Game" this week. That means that when a team gets lucky and wins some games, every game is a "Trap Game" for them because they a sham and everybody thinks they can lose to shitty teams. How many "Trap Games" do the Patriots play? None, because they are expected to beat everyone because they are good.


Speaking of the Pats, fuck them, their pretty boy QB and their cheating cunt of a coach. I hate them. That being said, I don't see anyone stopping them from winning the Super Bowl this year. I don't even see anyone making a game out of it. The AFC Championship game between the Colts and the Pats is the Super Bowl, so get your popcorn ready for that game.

GO JETS!

TRADE CHAD!!!

The guy is the face of our franchise. He is doing more than his part. He is a true leader and a real NFL quarterback. He can win in this league. These are all reasons the Jets should trade Chad Pennington. Go on without us Chad! Save yourself.

We are pathetic and need to just realize we are "rebuilding". We have Clemmens. Lets just allow Clemmens to have his day. Lets not waste any more of Chad's time and health.

He can go with dignity and we could probably get a nice second and/or third rounder for him.

Where Is Some DDT When You F@#%$^ Need It?

Allright! I'm back to being a Jets fan, ESPECIALLY this weekend when the J-E-T-S take on my most loathed team in the NFL, the Philly Eagles.

The Iggles are coming off a Bye week and are looking for their second win of the season. But, as we all know, the Eagles reside in the NFC - where you can make the playoffs these days at 8-8. The Jets live in that all-competitive AFC, where 5 losses means you are fighting for a wild-card berth. 5 losses in the NFC gets you home field advantage throughout the playoffs.

My point, gentlemen and lady, is that the Jets are going to have to want this one more. I thought they played one great half of football in last week's first half. But look at what the Giants had did to the Eagles the week before, 12 sacks. 1 sack on Pennington.

The Jets defense needs to make McNabb uncomfortable early and has to limit Westbrook's damage. I think the Jets linebackers are up for the challenge, Barton, Vilma and Harris. The Philly D is not as stout in the middle as it once was. You can run the ball on them. Jevon Kearse is just another DE against the run but excels in pass rush.

Screens are absolutely key against the aggressive blitzing defense of Eagles Def Coordinator Jim Johnson. Why do you think Tiki Barber had all those big games against the Eagles? He either had a 50-yard TD rushing or on a screen pass every game. L Wash, as he is now known, could fill a similar roll. Thomas Jones can wear them down all game. Limit Chad to no more than 25 passes.

Mangini, I know you are out there scouring blog world for these coaching tips by armchair geniuses. Well, listen to this one! As a Giants fan, I know the Eagles all too well. We also know how to beat them. Put the game on McNabb and keep him in the pocket, his throwing accuracy goes down the stiller he becomes. Don't leave your gaps with McNabb because he is as shifty as they come, a strong dude who can hurl it 60 yards no problem while falling backwards.

My prediction: Jets 17 Eagles 13

Meet Fakehead.

Meet Fakehead's boy.

It's funny, crow tastes like chicken. Five reasons why the Jets lost to the fucking Giants...

1. Chad Pennington - Wow. Talk about at least one God-awful throw. It was atrocious. It's like he just threw it up for grabs, (which he did), and he didn't even look where it was going. That was the beginning of the end. The second pick that Ross ran back for a TD was a better throw and a great play. Either way, Eli actually outplayed Chad and it wasn't pretty. Does Chad ever not throw at least two picks a game now?

2. The Jets Defense - couldn't stop the run late in the game and Eli did what he needed to do to win the fucking game. They didn't step it up, but I have to give props to Kerry Rhodes (finally showing the potential that was untapped last season) and Vilma, who played well considering. And Figs was half right about Revis - he played okay but missed some tackles and and looked a little lost at times. Dyson should be ashamed of himself when let Plax take him to the house. Go low young man! And Jeremy Shockey caught some balls and scored? How does that happen? It hasn't happened all year. Did they forget that if he is left alone and the conditions are perfect (i.e., the moon is aligned, he got sex from his boyfriend the night before, nary a strand of his flowing locks is out of place, etc.) he can actually catch a pass and move his body forward? Just because it hasn't happened all year doesn't mean you leave him to his own devices! He was wide open! And of course, Eli had 2 years to throw the ball on most plays. At one point he dropped back, pulled out a carton of milk and a little cereal box and made himself a bowl of Apple Jacks, ate it, and then threw a 18 yard strike to Plaxico. I mean, he put the empty box down before he threw the ball. That's how long I'm talking here. Granted, they got to that punk a couple of times, but Eli, being the girl that he is, threw the ball like a little sissy to avoid the sack. On those plays, the tech crew at CBS said they heard Eli screaming while he was running like a five-year-old girl who saw the boogeyman.

3. Thomas Jones - who? The guy gets 30 yards a game and hasn't scored a TD yet. This is their replacement for Curtis? It's like replacing Eric Dickerson with fucking Blair Thomas. It's a bust so far. Part of the problem is that they are only giving him the ball 10-15 times a game, but how are they supposed to run more when they are always playing from behind? Give me a fucking break.

4. Playcalling - The Jets fell completely flat in the second half after getting the lead 24-14. They proceeded to get outscored 21-0 from then on. That is pathetic. Instead of throwing interceptions, the Jets offense should have been busting open holes so Jones and L Wash could gain some ground and chew up the clock.

5. The gayer team won. Rumor has it the Giants players offered to give the Jets players oral in exchange for a Jets victory. That's how gay the Giants are. The Jets refused and the Giants played one of their best games of the year. I heard that Cowboys and the Packers said that a lot of the Giants give good head (especially Shockey).

Let's face it, now that the Mets killed me, the Jets are following suit. Maybe I'm the problem. Everyone knows I am going to hell for a host of reasons, but do I deserve to have my favorite sports teams suffer my fate just because I like them? Maybe I should become a Giants fan.

The Jets need to step it up, 2nd place is a cake walk in their division if they just win a few games, and who knows, a playoff spot isn't out of the picture, yet. I'm not sure what to do about Chad. I love the guy, but something needs to click with this offense. It's anemic at this point. And seriously, if Jones doesn't get a 100 yards and a TD soon I'm going to go nuts. Philly is next on the horizon, and that is going to be rough. They cannot afford a loss if they want to keep any hope whatsoever alive of making it to the playoffs. And what did the fucking cheerleaders do? Those skanky ass hos!

On the plus side - L Wash rocks, (that's a trademarked nickname, whether it is good or not)special teams were good, except for that missed kick by Ted Nugent. He needs to get his shit together. Some great grabs by L. Coles, who is so money he doesn't even know it, and as I said earlier, Kerry and J Vilma finally did something. Yeah!

I'm not giving up hope yet. I'll say it again, Go Jets!

'Nuff Said

I take just a little pride in enduring months of ribbing and ridicule and sweating through it until the very day of the game. My jets friends were never going to let me live it down if the Jets pounded the Giants. I flew home specifically to back up my team.

And for 2.5 quarters me and Big Blue were deserving of every backhanded remark. It was one of those games where last year's teams would've folded it up and taken a mental vacation, going through the motions until the clock read 0:00. Chad Pennington was picking us apart with short and medium passing. The Jets defense scored a TD on a Brandon Jacobs fumble off his second freaking carry. The play-calling was atrocious; trying to out-duel a ball-control and efficient opponent like the Jets by passing on 1st down, running on 2nd down and forcing yourself into a passing 3rd down. Just when things were looking up, the Giants marched down the field on the opening drive for a TD, the Jets multi-faceted RB Leon Washington returned his second 98-yard kickoff return of the season for a TD.

Everything was going the Jets way.

Then, crafty veteran Sam Madison left his man shallow, watching Chad's eyes, and picked off a pass intended for the sideline. The Giants and their highly beleaguered and rudely and wrongly criticized QB (especially on THIS site), Eli Manning, moved down the field and Shockey caught a TD. Just as, I must point out, people watching the game were saying that the Shockster hasn't done anything this year (which they were right about). But you speak of the devil, and he appears.


Then, rookie 1st round selection- CB Aaron Ross made a huge interception just as Chad was answering with a Jets drive of his own, by picking off a pass at the end zone. The refs ruled he was down at the 2-yard line. Time for the Jets defense to make a play? A safety perhaps?

Nope. Big Blue's running crew was makin' green stew. Ward and Jacobs gave them a little breathing room and then - BAM!!!!!


Plaxico Burress, He of the Not Practice, caught a 6-yard pass, made a little move and then stiff-armed Jets CB Andre Dyson to the ground. Burress was about a foot from the sideline, just a little push and Plax would go out of bounds. But when a playmaking wide receiver who is over 6' 5" applies that llllllllloooooooooooonnnnnnnnngggggggg stiff-arm to the crown of the DB's head (much like an older brother does to younger brother while the younger brother swings wildly but can't reach), unfortunately that DB is not getting much of a push at all.

If he can stay on the field, Plax is all over the pro Bowl. He has 7 TD's in 5 games. His career high was 10 last season.

G-men took control in the 4th quarter, Umenyiora collected his 7th sack of the season, and then Aaron Ross put the nail in the coffin. Intercepting the usually careful Pennington for a third time. And to add injury to insult, Ross returned it 43 yards for his first career touchdown.

The bright side is that the Jets offensive line played really good. The Giants bring the nastiest pass rush in the league at the moment. 1 sack. D'Brick did great. Strahan didn't do a goddamn thing. Vilma played a good game and rookie linebacker David Harris looked good too. Revis is the REAL DEAL and he did the best job on Plax than anyone had all year, for the 1st half anyway. The TD was not on Revis. Bright spots Jets fans. Leon and Thomas Jones will get more on track, especially if the D get get something going. They pressured Manning pretty good on Sunday, better than the Giants were pressuring Pennington anyway.

FIVE REASONS WHY THE JETS WIN ON SUNDAY...

The New York Jets are going to beat the Giants for several reasons on Sunday, but here are five in particular:

1. Chad Pennington. That's right, old rag arm can lead a team better than his counterpart in blue, Eli Manning. I'll say it time and time again, Eli ain't no leader. Chad is the epitome of a leader, and his will alone will help the Jets overcome the Giants on Sunday. That being said, he needs some goddamn time to throw the ball! The Jets' o-line will make or break him.

2. Special Teams. Which Jet is going to run back a kick this week? The Jets' special teams are better than the Giants, and Leon Washington could have a huge impact on this game. Speaking of...

3. The Jones/Washington Combo. Yes, it hasn't wowed anyone yet, but this is going to be the week when the two get their shit together and do some damage on the ground. The Giants defense, while a work in progress and admittedly getting better, still has some problems against the run and the Jets need to exploit this.

4. The Jets have more heart. I have a feeling the Jets "D" is going to step it up this week. Why? Because bragging rights and pride are on the line. It's bad enough they have to play in "Giants Stadium," but now they can finally show the tri-state area who is boss by beating the shit out of the boys in blue in the regular reason. Don't forget, they don't play in the regular season again until 2011 or something. Holding bragging rights that long means something to both clubs, but the Jets have more heart than the G-Fags.

5. The Giants are a bunch of pussies and crybabies, and for the most part their fans blow. (Figs and some others excluded). Wow. Did anyone think that would be a reason? You bet your ass it is! Because it is a Giants game, you can bet that all those old white motherfuckers in their stupid Bill Parcells blue Giant sweaters and their fucking tailgates with the tablecloths and brie and wine and crackers will be set up, and they'll all be saying excuse me on line to the bathroom, and when they see a pretty girl they will be like, "Well Chip, I must say that the young woman over there is somebody to write home about, ha ha ha" Please. Jets fans see a hot chick and they are like, "Hey stinkbox, show us your tits!" They may be pushy fuckheads who get a bit rowdy, but at least they have a personality. A little adversity over the years has made them stronger. Whereas Giants fans have had more recent success, have more money, and think they own the world because the fucking stadium is named after their team. They consider the Jets renters and they own the fucking building. And they still talk about the fact that they made it to the Super Bowl in 2000. That is when they are reminded that they almost got shut out and fucking Trent Dilfer beat them.

Oh yeah, and look for Chris Baker to contribute, as opposed to the Giants loudmouth loser Shockey. Baker quietly does his job with great results. Shockey, while admittedly quieter this year, can't get the job done and drops more shit than he catches. Baker could make the difference when it comes down to it on Sunday.

Sunday is the day where the Jets can garner some much-needed respect, especially after the whole booing Chad debacle, (which I thought was deplorable). They need it. They want it, and they'll get it. Plus they need the fucking win!

My prediction:

Jets 24 Giants 13

Write it down bitches! I'm so confident I got some cash on the game, even with our resident Giant fan, Figs.

Oh, one more reason why the Jets will win - they have fucking cheerleaders now! Granted, these bitches don't know what the fuck they are doing, (at least they didn't opening day, but maybe they got their shit together by now), but I think they are hot (couldn't tell from upper level) and rumor has it Unruly is going to interview one of them soon. Unruly told me he got a hotel room for the interview and it is only costing him $400 an hour. Wait, I'm not sure if the woman is even a cheerleader....

Go Jets!!!!!!

Oh, and here is a photo from the Jets facility being built in the best town in New Jersey, Florham Park! Once the team has relocated there I will be checking out training camp and giving reports live from the field. Presently, I just go to the construction site wearing my jersey and start J-E-T-S chants with myself. Needless to say I may be forever barred from the site before it is completed.

GO JETS!!!!!!!!! BUILD THAT SHIT!

It's A Copycat League...

I think that a lot needs to be said about Ken Whisenhunt and the way the Arizona Cardinals have been competing (and winning) games. Insomuch as I think Mangini should glean a page or two out of his book. Hear me out on this one fellas,....

My hat is off to Whisenhunt's resourcefulness - anything goes in order to win games. We have all heard about the two-running back approach that was made popular by teams like the Denver Broncos. Now most teams in the NFL like to feature two running backs to share the load and/or create favorable matchups against the defense. Well, why the hell not do the same thing with your quarterbacks?

Arizona has won two big games in a row by subbing the accurate Kurt Warner for a sometimes struggling Matt Leinart. It seems that the Cardinals do this when they need to mount a comeback or have to play a timing-based passing offense. There is no one better for a three-step drop and throwing the ball to a spot, except maybe Peyton Manning, than former MVP Kurt Warner. He was the one who guided those great Rams teams (The Greatest Show On Turf) to back-to-back Super Bowls. Warner processes information faster than Leinart at this stage of their careers. It's smart football and has the Cardinals on their way to respectability.

We would think nothing of Mangini bringing in Leon Washington on a 3rd and 7 because he is speedier and shiftier than Thomas Jones, right? In fact, we would be yelling at the TV to do that if he didn't. Why the hell not do that with our QB's? What if Clemens were in there for that sideline route at the end of the Buffalo game that Bills cornerback McGee intercepted to seal their win? Chad cannot throw the hard sideline routes that were needed to advance the ball while stopping the clock. He can manage the hell out of the game, work the middle of the field and such things, but what would the harm be for Clemens to trot on out and heave a deep ball or two, zing a couple of out patterns to the sidelines or thread the needle on deep patterns against Cover 2.

It would also be beneficial in keeping opposing defenses on their heels. They would figure Clemens comes in for deep and sideline stuff, right? Bam! Tight end seam pattern right the middle. Chad's back in? Play close to the line. Laverneous pulls a hitch-and-go and Chad floats a 35-yarder as the safeties were all playing shallow versus Chad's weak arm.

Anyway, it's food for thought. The worst by-product of Whisenhunt's QB tinkering is that their 'franchise' QB is the young and struggling Leinart. And because Leinart was such the Golden Boy at USC where he was surrounded by top talent, he is not used to failing, struggling, getting clobbered and turning the ball over. His psyche is what's at stake here, and that's dangerous because Kurt Warner CANNOT be The Guy.

It technically is no longer Leinart's rookie year, but he probably only has 10 or so starts, it is going to take some time. He needs to stand in there and make a few mistakes, but the Cardinals aren't trying to hear that and Whisenhunt sure as hell doesn't give a crap. He didn't draft Leinart so I'm not sure if he is even in bed with him as his Q. The Cardinals and Whisenhunt want to win NOW.

Don't the Jets?

Just some food for thought. I know that the QB situation with the Jets is different, Chad's the cool veteran and Clemens is the young gun. And I'm not confident that this would be the way to produce some victories, but the Jets defense has been less than spectacular and the offense has been decent but not enough to win. But damn, Chad's arm really REALLY limits the Jets offense, especially the deep and sideline plays.

A MISERABLE WEEKEND LEAVES JETS' (AND METS') FANS DESPONDENT

All Jets and Mets fans had a terrible weekend. There isn't much to say, except how the fuck did the Mets let the playoffs get away and why can't the Jets get to the opposing team's quarterback.

I'll focus on the Jets and vent my frustrations about the Mets on that blog.

Edwards had enough time to read "War and Peace" while sitting back in the pocket, or at least an US Weekly. The Jets can't sack a quarterback if their lives depended on it. It's ridiculous. They need to put some pressure on, and they were trying to, that's the worst part. Chad played pretty well except for two bad throws. He's still the leader of the team and I don't want to see Clemens unless the Jets are 3-9 and the season is pretty much over. Why is Thomas Jones only getting the ball 12 times? Not only is that fucking my fantasy football team over, but it is taking away a chance to win the ball game. Mix it up Mangina! Jones only gets better as the game goes on!

Regardless, Sundays like the previous one make me want to stop rooting for sports teams all together. I already have enough disappointment in my life. And my fucking fantasy football team lost as well. Thank God for my kid and my dog.

Go Jets, big game next Sunday, we'll have to do a separate post on that!