Yo, Fuckheads, the Jets are playing this Sunday!

I smell an upset! Why? Why the fuck not? The Steelers aren't that fucking great. Their QB, Ben Rothenscunter or whatever the fuck his name is, is overrated and plays not to lose (except that one game where he had 5TD passes or whatever, but look at his performance in the Super Bowl, they won IN SPITE of him).

The biggest problem the Jets are going to have on Sunday is making sure Chad Pennington doesn't get into the game. What I'm saying is, they need to protect Kellen and let him throw the fucking ball!!!!! 6 or 7 sacks will spell disaster for the Jets. Running the ball is going to be tough, but the Jets don't believe in running the ball this year anyway, that is probably why they only signed a running back for fucking 20 million or whatever.

Regardless, the Jets have a shot on Sunday, believe me. It's going to be a close game and who knows, maybe after the break the Jets have a new lease on life and will play better. Fuck, they have nothing to lose except the top pick in the draft. And any player or team that plays for a draft pick should fucking quit the NFL today. That is bullshit, pussy-ass faggotry at its most pathetic. PLAY TO WIN!!! Fuck draft picks, they are playing for self-respect at this point.

You know else they should win? Because at half-time they are honoring arguably one of the best Jets ever, Curtis Martin. The guy was awesome, and a class act on and off the field. I have nothing but respect for guy, even though he used to be a Patriot. Curtis, you rock!

Look at his guy's fire! Let's see some of that from the current players!

Let's Go Jets!


1. A-Rod is staying with the Yankees?! I'm pretty surprised this happened, but hey, I give AJob some credit. Good for him. Interestingly, Gay Jeter is in some trouble because he said he lived in Florida from 2001-2003 to allegedly avoid NYC taxes. Guess he's not perfect after all. And he has to deal with ARod for 10 more years, clearly a better player than he.

2. Barry Lamar Bonds got indicted. Who the fuck cares? Nobody likes him, ARod will break the HR record, he is just going to be another chump. He is a miserable bastard and he took steriods, big fucking deal. Not for nothing, steroids don't make you a good hitter. They may make you stonger and last longer (although he is probably falling apart now) but they can't make your hand-eye coordination improve. Whatever.

3. Vinny "Old Bastard" Testaverde is starting again this week. I pray that one day I will be as in shape as that mother fucker is at his age. What is he, fucking 48 years old? I'd like to see Joe Namath come out of the Jets in the final game of the season. At that point they could have nothing to lose.

4. The fucking cleaning people in my office only come once every two weeks. I have two small garbage cans (one is a Mets garbage can) and they are full of fucking garbage. It's like NYC when the garbage haulers go on strike, there is just shit everywhere. Newspapers, soup containers, sandwich wrappers, it's fucking disgusting. I have am starting to enjoy it at this point. I am going to buy plastic rats and put them around the office to see if bothers anyone. Every garbage is jam packed. This place is a fucking disaster. Fucking cleaning people, those fucks.

5. I hate fantasy football. It ruins football for me and I vow never to play it again after this year. It's too stressful.

6. Paterson, NJ is a shithole. Dont' go there unless you want to buy crack. It's so annoying, the citizens just walk in front of your car, there are a million streetlights and construction everywhere. If you have a choice of taking your own life or driving into downtown Paterson, think about what you to lose with both options. It may be easier to blow your brains out.

7. I hate the Patriots so much it makes my blood boil. I think that in 10 years a good movie would be called, "We are the Patriots" staring Matthew Fox as Tom Brady and the dead guy Jack Palance as Bill Bellicunt. Seriously, they could just dig up the body and use strings to make his mouth move. Palance's corpse would be more believable than a living Bellicunt.

8. The Giants came back down to earth last week and proved everything I have been saying about Eli Manning since he was in college. He fucked up on those game delay penalties, he can see the fucking clock and he can't call time out or run a play? He thinks he is Peyton pointing and yelling and shit, somebody should say, "Hey, fuckstick, you want to call a play or sit here and cry about a roving DB all day?" Some leader. Next. The GMen play the Lions this week, and if they lose they are going to be awful the rest of the year. If they win (and it would be a good victory against an upstart Lions squad) then they will have proven something to me a little bit at least.

9. I have been having a recurring dream of getting attacked by zombies. I fucking hope zombies don't rise from the dead and go looking for human flesh. It would suck. The logistics of it all would be a nightmare, I live near a cemetary and if it's anything like "Dawn of the Dead 2007" then at least I have a short drive to a mall. I don't know which mall would be better to hang out in, the Livingston or Short Hills. I think the food selection is more diverse at Livingston, and I fucking hate that shithole restaurant in the Short Hills Mall, "American Joes" It should be callled, "The Worst Restaurant in the World" because it is.

Anyway, I'm thinking I need to buy a gun in case zombies do rise from the dead. But at the same time I probably shouldn't put that on my "Reason for Buying Gun: ________" part of the application. It could raise some flags.

10. Seriously, the Jets might win this week. Have some fucking faith for once, you miserable fucks!



Unruly Jets Fan said...

Fakehead, you seriously are getting funny the older you get. I can't wait till your like 50 bc you will be so f'n funny (that is if you dont kill yourself first).

By the way, sorry I changed the look of the blog. I fucked up actually. But don't worry, I will fix it soon.

Smell ya later!

Unruly Jets Fan said...

Fakehead, you seriously are getting funny the older you get. I can't wait till your like 50 bc you will be so f'n funny (that is if you dont kill yourself first).

By the way, sorry I changed the look of the blog. I fucked up actually. But don't worry, I will fix it soon.

Smell ya later!

Denver donkey said...

Well, the Jets won. Good job. Clearly a better team than Clemens.

And so did the Giants so F you. God, you are retarted. Thank god Seton Hall had the Down Syndrome Lawyers Program. Eli makes one fucking mistake and he's been a bust all along? Retarted. He took the second best team in the league to the hilt until two nonsense holding calls took them out of the game and the game clock malfunctioned. It could all be different in the playoffs.
And we beat a solid Lions team, wasn't pretty but our QB had a good, efficent game withy no turnovers. Defense still playing their asses off but losing Kiwanuka for the year was a blow. Still, I have to be happy with the health level of my beloved team. This time last year, construction workers were trying out for linebacker. Great road win against an explosive team that was undefeated at home.

As for the Jets, Pitt is schitzo. The Broncos beat them for Christ sakes, the most injured team in the league with an offensive line that is in tatters. Broncos are totally schitzo while I'm at it.

Fake, you should never be allowed to buy a gun because we all know what you would use it for. I bought a really cool police shotgun but that's because I used to live in Crip central. Now ol' Gladys just hangs in a case in my closet. But when the aliens come down, to boorow a quote from one of my favorite movies, "Ol' Painless is waitin'" - Jesse Ventura in Predator.

Fuck the Cowboys, but good job TO who scored 59 points for my fantasy squad. I've won four ina row by 40+ points and headed for the playoffs after an 0-5 start (thanks Drew Bress and Frank Gore). Brett Favre has saved my season though and I can't wait until Green Bay shuts the fucking Cowfags up.

Definitely not Fakehead said...

Giants blow.

Denver dickhead said...

2-8 blows. 7-3? I'll take it. I know where the Jets would be a good team: the Iron Hills Conference.

Fakehead said...

Funny stuff Figs! Funny stuff!

Val Halla said...

Barry Bonds = case study in why nobody watches fucking baseball anymore. (unless it is the Mets, Yanks, or R.Sox).