Miracle in Massachusetts?

Um, I don't think so.

The Jets travel to Foxboro this Sunday and are currently favored to LOSE by 24 points. To be honest, I think that is giving the Jets more credit than they deserve. Let's face it, these Jets are not the Jets of 1969, who were 18 point underdogs in Super Bowl III against the Baltimore Colts, who were 13-1 at the time. Ah, to have those days back, Where have you gone, Joe Namatheo?

There are several reasons for the Pats to run up the score on the Jets, (Spygate, Mangina, Bellicunt is a fuckstick, etc.) but I think the Patriots OWE the Jets for getting them all fired up this season. Were it not for the Jets ratting out the Pats, then they would have no motivation to go undefeated and show the world they can win without cheating. What other motivation do they have? They are a bunch of jerkoffs otherwise, with nothing to prove, everyone knows they are awesome, they are all fucking models, whether those models are their wives or not, and so on. So fuck them. They should BE GRATEFUL the Jets alerted the NFL about their reindeer games! So grateful they should at least take Tom Brady out of the game when it is 73-0. We'll see.

Honestly though, I hope that the Jets can put some points on the board and at least make it interesting. In a perfect world, they would knock Brady out of the game, but that could be a double-edged sword if Cassel comes in and still kicks the Jets' asses.

My legit prediction is: Pats 59 Jets 17. I hope I am WRONG and it is a lot closer, but I'm scared.


1. MLB is a mess. This whole Mitchell Report this is a disaster. I know roids fucked up the game, but as long as they try to keep it out from now on what can you do about what happened in the past? Is everyone going to get an asterisk? Besides, where is the concrete proof any one of these guys took roids besides a fucking rat singing to make his jail sentence a few years less. It's bullshit. I wouldn't trust half of the "sources" the report cites, but they apparently do. Of course Clemens and certain hitters were on roids. I was suprised about Paul Lo Duca, but fuck him, he is a National now anyway. At least Beltran and Wright weren't named. The fact remains, however, that you can take as many drugs as humanly possible, but they haven't figured out a drug you can take so you hit .345 every year, react to a Pedro Martinez curveball or see a Mariano fastball before they end up in the catcher's mitt. Hitting a baseball is fucking hard to do, no matter how many illegal drugs you take! So I am conflicted about it all, but in the end I don't really give that much of a shit, because like all sports, it has no real effect on my life.

2. The GMen play the Redskins this week. I think the Giants should win this game. Washington really isn't that good. I guess we'll see who shows up to play at QB for the Giants this year. It will be Peyton Manning's little brother or the retarded kid from "Life Goes On" or maybe a combo of both (retard in first half, little bro in second). I don't understand how Jacobs is always injured. What a fucking pussy. He needs to man up because the Giants need him.

3. I heard a rumor that Jake Gyllenhall has agreed to play Joe Namath in a film about the Jets QB. That would be pretty fucking cool. I hope it happens. I'm not a huge fan of Jake, I always confuse him with SpiderMan (the actor who plays him). They are like, the same actor. One should kill the other, because the living murderer one would get all the dead one's parts offered to him. Anyway, they should make more movies about football. I would watch them in the theater or rent them. (Although I haven't seen "Invincible" yet).

4. I cannot wait to see "I Am Legend." It looks awesome. Something about the last man on earth thing always gets me. Plus, I like how it is just him and his dog. Unfortunately, it looks like the dog doesn't make it. That would be pretty depressing for me to watch, because I am going to be miserable the day my precious dog dies. I fucking worship my dog.

There she is at the beach. She loves the beach. Honestly, nothing beats a dog as a pet. That animal will love you no matter what. That's why I was pretty happy Vick got 23 months. The guy deserved some time. I hope that these other dog fighting fucks will close up shop for the deterrent value of the sentence alone.

5. It's almost Christmas. This year I asked the fat douchebag in the red suit for money, money and mo money. That motherfucker better deliver. On a serious note, I was watching Family Guy the other night but I only caught the end of it. Well, Brian the Dog and Stewie were in Colorado and Stewie lost some skiing race and the two ended up not having a way to get back home so they carjacked some guy. It had to be the funniest thing I have ever seen in my life. Something about that dog Brian is the best. Maybe it's the fact that he talks, or maybe because he drinks, I don't know, but it's comic gold.

6. Finally, hot or not? This week's selection is none other than the Dutchess herself, Fergie Motherfuckin' Ferg

I am almost 98% sure she is hot, but sometimes she looks like a French whore on crack. (See first photo above). Some guys like that sort of thing though, so I am going to go with a "hot" for her. Plus, she does have those "lovely lady humps" whatever the fuck those are (fucking weirdo Black Peas).

GO JETS!!!!!!!!!


Snow Figs said...

Good blog, fakes.

That chick is hot and I, for one, love the model-strung-out-on-crack look. I would fuck the living hell out of that girl.

I hope the Ptriots all come down with ebola, someone puts it in their Gatorade. And I hope the jets upset them just like they did last year. Though I was rooting for the Pats to shut up the Steelers for some reason. I really want the Browns to make the playoffs for the AFC. I like them and I like Romeo Crennel.

Tommy C has saved his job. G-men already signed him on for next year. While he is not my favorite and I would LOVE if Parcells came out of retirement to finish up where he started, But while I'm at it I hope Santa gives me a winning lotto ticket.
The best thing about Coughlin is having the consistency year in and year out. The players seem to like playing for him this year. I wish the Giants would turn to a Jaguars type of attack with 65% running plays and a damn stout defense. G-men defense has been phenomenal lately, except that we are not taking the ball away enough. 47 sacks on Week 13 is tremendous though. I also like how they are losing players to injuries and still winning games.

I share the same frustration about Jacobs. He is the 2nd back, not the feature guy. Give him 10-15 carries a game, especially late in the game. Derrick Ward really stepped up this year and I like his patience, he clearly studied Tiki all those years, but I would love to land one of the backs coming out in the draft this year. McFadden won't happen but I think that West Virginia back or Ray Rice should be available.

Eli has won back to back games in come-from-behind situations.

Baseball is so fucked. Clemens surprised me but I guess we know now why he threw that broken bat at Piazza in the World Series...roid rage. It didn't even make any sense at the time, now we know why.

Did they do any spoofs on Colorado? I've never seen that sow but a lot of people seem to like it.

I love my dog too. Fake, the only solution is to take your pup with you when you go on your rampage. Just like True Romance, you and Alabama till the end.

fake vaj said...

I'm not going on any rampage Figs. Although I like the way you ended your comment.

I like how you stated some facts on Eli to shut me up. You are 100% correct that he won back to back come-from-behind games. I am right when I say that he has 47 chromosomes (or 48, I forget what makes somebody retarded). ha ha

Ward is out for the year, which sucks for the GMen. Can't Ruben D. do much? He broke a 35 yard run last week, didn't he?

I don't think Parcells is ever coming back. He's done coaching.

I don't think the GMen's coach is that great, but I think with Tiki gone a lot less players are bitching. I think Tiki must have been a MAJOR problem in that clubhouse.

As for CO, I met a guy who lives 3 hours outside of Denver and he fucking loves it there. His girlfriend (who used to work with my wife and is a total city girl) loves it too. Man, that state has people drinking the Kool Aide! ha ha
Go Jets!

strip club figs said...

Colorado fuckin rules dude.

Eli is not retarted, he got the highest score in NFL history on the Wonderlic test. I think the word you are looking for is 'savant'.

Plaxico is the key to our offense. When that guy is healthy we are a totally different team. I hope we get the Bucs in the first round of the playoffs because Seattle is going to be a bitch, though beatable.

Pats are mortal, but can the Jets do anything about it. Everyone is nervous that the Pats are going to exact revenge on the Jets and beat them 70-3. I don't think so. I think Thomas Jones needs to have a big day, match your backs on the linebacksers, chew the clock. Maybe then you'll only get beat by 14.

Christmas Eve morning I am down for football. I might be royally hung over because I am going into the City the night before. We'll see. I will play any position, I don't always have to be QB. And I think we should mix the teams up this time round. Me, Muha, McMahon and one of my cousins vs. the rest of you.

I Am Fakehead said...

Great but who is going to throw me the ball? If my buddy from law school plays then fine, we will kick your fucking asses all over the field. Bring it on!!!!!!!! You are going to be slow and lethargic anyway, all hung over, McMahon has lost a step, and I've got Unruly's number, everyone knows it. So that sounds like it's going to be a blowout, for my team.

Goooooooo Fakester!

stone cold figs said...

Is Tom McMahon a definite?
Steve still has knee problems so he is out. I am triple checking with my cousins tomorrow.
Looking forward to coming home. Kim is coming with me. Faker, you having people over at Xmas Eve? Where is Mookie McFly? Any possibility of getting him to that get-together? Hope that isn't asking a lot.

Unruly Jets Fan said...

I dont know if that chick is hot either. Something about her looks...well, fake. No pun intended Fakehead.

With that said, I need to let you guys know that today will go down in history if the Jets pull it off.

With that said, this will just be an ordinary day.

So as far as MLB is concerned. I dont think it is fucked. I dont think will happen. In fact, I am calling right now that Mark McGuire will get into the Hall on the next ballot.

This steriod thing is over. Lets stop talking about it.

As for Eli Manning...I cant argue with you figs. The guy is 8-4. And on his way to the playoffs. But, and htis is a big but...my only cristizm is that he has no human emotions.

Unruly Out.

V.Halla from the Great White North Eh? said...

Fucking Jets lost. They actually could have pulled it off too but they were...well, typical fucking Jets. At least Pennington had a nice series in the 4th qtr. Now I have to go in to work tomorrow and listen to these cunts brag about how great the Pats are. Fuck Brady, Fuck the Pats and Fuck Belicheat. Wouldn't it be just poetic Justice if Favre and the Pack beat them in the SB, and then they go like 0-16 next season? hahahaha I would laugh so hard.

Fergie is doable but not my type.

Blackeyed Peas are weirdos, Fakey.

Your Dog looks cool. I put my Rottie down 4 years ago at 5 years old (cancer), and I cried like a little bitch for two days and couldn't eat because I was so depressed. So now a few weeks ago my wife got me a new Rott pup and we are like totally obsessed with organic this and holistic that and all this shit (becasue of the cancer with the last one). DO some research on Dog Food - you wouldn't believe what goes in there. My dog eats better than me now.

Of course now one of these nobs who does 60mph down my road (25 zone) will prob run her over and I'll end up in prison cause I'll beat his teenage ass into oblivion. Fakey - you do defense too? I digress...

18" of snow in 5 days...my lower back is killing me but here's a tip...make sure you switch hands randomly and often when shoveling snow, that way your WHOLE back goes out, so you don't look like a total Jerkoff walking around the office listing to one side.

P.S. - I saw Deuce Bigalow again this weekend...I knew I had heard the "Mangina" term before...anyway he makes me sick whenever I even look at him anymore.

Val Halla said...

oh yeah - plus, Gyllenhall used to bang that chick from Legally Blond, who is totally hot, and unlike Ferg and the Peas she is not a hollyWEIRDO. So, yeah, Jake is agood choice cause he used to 'tap that just like Namath used to tap everything (including the bottle of course).

NO RULES said...

You guys and your freaking dogs...all of you. I actually would get a dog bc my kids want one. But it will send my wife over the edge...on second thought, perhaps I should get one.

My brother has one and sleeps with him.

At any rate, what is this the Gay Jets Blog...the Jets just disgust me. I hate being the Jets fan. I love the Jets...and that is why I hate them. I think Mangina has to go. I want Bill Cowher.

I will even take the older Shottenhiemer.

The Giants crapped the bed again. Figs, what is up with them.