Either I need to be drunker or just get better seats, but going to games ain't always what it's cracked up to be.

Why is it almost every time I go to a sporting event (mostly football games) I get so Goddamn annoyed? Well, because of stupid, crazy, retarded fans. I'm not talking about real retarded people either. They don't have a choice in the matter. I'm talking about the guy who has to stand up on every fucking play in the upper level, even when it is 2nd and 7 midway through the first quarter and the Bears have the ball. I'm talking about the hard high five slappers. I'm talking about the drunk assholes who can't handle their intoxication. I'm talking about the losers on their cell phone the whole game or people who read the paper during the game. (Hey, do that shit in the parking lot you stupid bastard!).

So, my day started at 10:30 am, when I was picked up by my buddy and we were suppossed to meet one of his buddies at the Stadium. I drove and we got to the Stadium around 11:15, and the parking Nazis wouldn't let me park in any of the main lots. I was stuck in a huge traffic jam for almost a half hour just trying to park. Finally, I end up in Lot C, which is a great lot for the racetrack, and a mile walk to see a football game. So, after getting a phone call that my the other guy who was suppossed to take the third ticket bailed out, I proceeded to meet my brother at his tailgate spot a mile away. It was a 2 beer walk, past AT LEAST 300 open spaces in other lots.

Luckily, we arrived just in time for some burgers and had some food and drink while my brother and his friends had a conversation with Mary Jane to get ready for the big game. My buddy and I did not partake. Regardless, we make the trek to our gate and found out that the "NFL on FOX" show was filming live at the stadium. This was more annoying than the parking lot traffic jam, as dozens of idiots gathered behind the taping to scream, yell and be fucking idiots in an attempt to get on TV for a second. Plus, the spillage went into the lines going into the gate. So my buddy and I wait for 20 minutes and the line into the stadium does not even move. We look behind us and we were the last ones on line because everyone behind us flanked the gate by the side. It was just dumb.

Finally, we get into the game and get to our seats, and there are Bears fans everywhere. I had a Bears fan with his son/daughter (couldn't tell, hope the kid turns out all right) behind us, and the little kid was constantly kicking the empty chair in front of him/her and the thumping resonated to my seat, which was next to the empty chair. I kept turning around, waiting for the idiot father to tell the kid to stop, but he and his dumb Urlacher jersey was too focused on the game. So, instead of going apeshit, I simply put my arm around the empty chair so the kid had to stop because he/she was kicking my arm and noticed what he/she was doing. Then, thankfully, two old guys showed up and didn't want to walk to the other side of the section so we let them sit next to us and now the kid had somebody in front of him/her and could no longer kick the chair. At least if he/she did I didn't notice or care.

Regardless, the game was exciting, but not exciting enough for two drunk high-fiving idiots to stand up every five minutes, which they proceeded to do so the rest of us couldn't see. I have no problem with standing and often do during games, but only when it is an important time in the game. These two stood on every play, until they tired out towards the end of the game, when standing was probably a good idea.

Then there was the yelling. Fuck this, fuck that, no concern for women or children at all (even kids who kick seats shouldn't hear that shit). Then the ribbing, or abuse, of the Bears fans. It started out jovial, and it turned nasty. I have no problem with some ribbing of fans, it should be hard to wear an away team's jersey in Jets Stadium, but you don't have to yell at them every time the Jets make a play. The fan has nothing to do with the players on the field. (That about sums up this blog). Bears fans were having shit thrown at them, it was insane. Then, the one Bears fan who was too loud and way too drunk, started threatening to fight everyone around him. The Jets fans would have gladly taken him up on it. So the guy starts "mother fucking" everyone around him, and on come the pretzels, peanuts, etc. etc. Then, the yellow jackets came and took him away. That was great to see actually, because that guy was a real dickhead. I even yelled at him that it wasn't 1985 and there wasn't going to be any "Super Bowl Shuffle" this year. (Which, by the way there isn't, there is no way the Bears are winning the Super Bowl with Rex Suckman at the helm. Rex Grossman is NO Jim McMahon).

Regardless, I enjoyed the game but all the other shit is just too much. I thought about when I could bring my kid to a game, and the answer is when he is 16 years old. By then he will know every swear there is and I won't feel like I will have to kill anyone who says something to him or throws something at another fan and it hits him. It's a shame. Maybe the behavior in the lower seats is better, I don't know. But the upper tier is like the inmates running the prison. I don't think, no matter how intoxicated I used to get, that I ever acted like some of these guys. It just ruins everyone's experience.

Will I be back? Fuck yeah. I love the Jets and I love to tailgate and watch games in the cold weather. I also want to attend with Unruly and Shea GF. Next time I'll maybe I'll just drink more I guess. Then I won't be too annoyed, and I only have to worry about falling off the tier. Of course, falling wouldn't be too bad if I landed on a fan from the opposite team. Then some idiot would just comment, "Wow man, who threw a body at that Bills' fan?"


Unruly Jets Fan said...

I like the comment "High Five Slappers".

I think you just coined that one. This was a good blog. You had me chuckling at points.

I am with you, I love harrassing fans but to a point. That Bears fan is lucky he didnt get killed.

jet titties said...

That was funny...I was at the Bears game too. Was disgusted by the number of Bears jerseys.

People who wear Urlacher jerseys are definately not the titties.

Caymus67 said...

This week's game against Houston is a trap game for the Jets.

Unruly Jets Fan said...

Caymus is right. The Texans have three wins this year. They beat Miami and Jacksonville twice. And Jacksonville kicked our asses 41-0. With Pennington shitting the perenial bed lately, I will be happy anything positive this week.

Fakehead said...

If the Jets don't win this week you will never see another post from me on this blog. Why? Because I will boycott the Jets.