Tsk, Tsk (Finger Wag)

Two semi-words: Ha Ha

The New England Patriots ( as if they weren't loaded enough on the field) were caught videotaping the Jets coaches signals during last Sunday's semi-game at the parking-challenged Meadowlands. NFL Security discovered a Patriots employee with the videocamera and confiscated it. And in all the security and urgency of reconnaissance photos of Cuba during the Cuban Missile Crisis being whisked away to Kennedy in Washington, the Patriots camera and tape were delivered to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. Goodell examined them and decided that the Patriots were indeed breaking the rules. Apparently the Patriots had been warned about this type of behavior before. All teams received notice in a memo from the Commissioner before the season.

Mark Schlereth, ESPN analyst, described how they would use such a video taping technique at at halftime during the game; Each team is allowed to take pictures before the snap of each play and after the snap of each play, to analyze what the other team is doing and how to attack them. That said, that team can correspond the videotape to the hand signals coming in from the coaches. The advantage in the second half of the game is tremendous! The defensive captain only needs to look over to the opponent's sideline to get the call of the defense.

Now, has long has this been happening? Sports Illustrated's NFL Preview edition of a few weeks ago had a prolonged interview with Peyton Manning. In the article he mentions how the Patriots like to tape him, the Broncos and other teams and shrugs it off like it's all part of the game.

Bill Parcells, the best analyst on ESPN hands down, made a remarkable statement on Monday Night Countdown. He remembered a game in 1951 when the Brooklyn Dodgers were caught stealing the New York Giants signals in a baseball game. Parcells also volunteered a few methods to beat such activity, makes one wonder where Belichick learned it from.

Stealing another team's signals provides an important competitive advantage, much like the Allies enjoyed during World War II when they were able to decipher the coded transmissions of the Enigma machine used by the Nazis. The game of football is all-out war in between those sidelines and end zones, is it not? Millions upon millions of dollars are at stake.

The thing I think the juggernaut Patriots are so stupid for is: get a sophisticated spy camera! How inconspicuous is it to have the freaking ball boy with a Panasonic snickering while filming across the field?! Doesn't Robert Kraft, Scott Pioli and Belichick know what they can do with micro technology? Haven't they ever seen a James Bond film? Put it in Belichick's uncombed hair and have someone controlling the zoom and whatnot. Just look at him here, scratching at his lice, who's going to look in there at some suspicious bump in that rat's nest?


Unruly said...

Figs, I love the article and the pictures. Your article makes you think that steeling signals is part of the game.

It does make you think Bellechick is an evil scientist. Caymus called me up yesterday and broke the story to me.

I am not sure what to think about. I dont think we would have won anyhow. But if they do lose a few draft pics than great!

fake pissed off said...


FIRST - WHY CHEAT? HE probably always has, that is why he has been so successful. Fuck him, all his victories are tainted if you ask me, especially the wins in close games. Not taking anything away from Brady and the team, but fuck Bellicunt.

Second, I have another big "fuck you" to send out, to RUTGERS UNIVERSITY. Those classless fans can go suck a cock for booing Navy. I was giving Rutgers a chance because they are from NJ, but now I hate them more than ever and they just give NJ a bad name. A guy from the Star Ledger said it best yesterday, you don't boo three college teams: Army, Navy and Air Force. The reasons are obvious. Meanwhile, those cunts at Rutgers have the balls to boo people who have balls, that is, kids who will serve our Country. Like most colleges, Rutgers is full of liberals who hate Bush and the war and blah blah blah, same shit everywhere, and I can understand and appreciate it. (I'm not liberal, but I sure as shit didn't vote for Bush and the rep of the US has gone to shit under his watch). But to boo kids on the Navy squad? It's pathetic. I understand and appreciate booing, it's part of being a fan, but have SOME SENSE or take things into perspective. Not to mention the fact that Rutgers was killing them at the time. I know they are young and stupid, but from what I've heard it's harder to get into Rutgers now. Shit, isn't it a bunch of prep school jerkoffs and minorities down there? They can't appreciate the fact that the guys at Navy serve the Country? I would imagine they can't. Now Rutgers looks like a bunch of jerkoffs, the students look like assholes, and they lost the respect of at least one person who was giving them a chance. Fuck them, I hope they lose a shitload of games this year and don't get invited to a bowl. Not to mention their whole team is Rice. Their QB blows under pressure.

Finally, I heard Chad is sitting out this week. That is awful news for the Jets, because Clemens is going to get his neck broken by the Ravens D, which is pissed about losing to Cincy. I hope all those stupid fucks who wanted Clemens will understand what Chad means to the Jets.

This Week's Prediction:

Ravens: 34 Jets 10

I love the Jets, but Clemens ain't what the doctor ordered, an O-Line and some D is the right prescription. Go Jets and Go Mets.

Figs said...

Go Mets.
Man, I didn't hear about the Rutgers thing, as a graduate of that fine institution I would like to give a big sorry to the Navy. Now go blow up Osama bin Laden.

I am loving that Rutgers is a ranked team however. It was good school and I am glad I went there.

Clemens-babe to the wolves. At least your appetite for carnage will be appeased. Clemens will look like Bloody Sausage (*trademark*) by the third quarter.

Fake bloody said...

When you seeing it crawling up your leg, BLOODY SAUSAGE!

Dude, those were fucked up lyrics, what was I thinking in 6th grade? What is a bloody sausage? Has anyone ever asked that question? Fucking bizarre shit. Man I have problems.

Fig Sausage said...

Yeah, and you called me the crazy one.

Unruly said...

I always thought the song "Bloody Sausage" was your ode to your small dick.

Unruly said...

Also...I have a new "10 Questions" comming up with Brandon Teirney (BT) of ESPN Radio. He hosts a show right after the Jets game on Sunday nights.

Stay tuned...

Figgythemick said...

Unruly, great article in the Observer! I wrote another comment.
I'm telling you, your writer name needs to be different from your everyday name. I like S. Geo--- Mu--.

but it is up to you, Hemingway.

fake bloody said...

Why would my dick (which is huge) be bloody? Unless I was banging a girl when she was menstrating. You are fucked up Unruly. My question is, why did our sixth grade teacher let me play the tape of my song for the whole class, when in 7th grade we couldn't sing "Dead Or Alive" by Bon Jovi (lip sync actually) for the old people at the talent show? What song did we do again? I remember rehearsals in my garage, we were fucking awesome.

Go Mets.

Figgythemick said...

Supporting creativity despite its derangement I suppose was her motivation. I think you gay asses lip synched to New Kids On the Block. It was either that or NWA, I don't remember which.

And you were rehearsing gay porno in your garage while filming with hand puppets.

No Rules said...

I was just kidding. I know your dick is huge because Matty D. told me so, OHH! I am here all week. Try the vinigerette, my grandma made it!

PS: I will think about the pen name. How about Steven George Muha? Kind of like John Wilkes Booth or Sarah Jessica Parker. It just rings. Any thoughts?

Mr Accountable said...

Tsk tsk. This conversation isn't going anywhere.

"Parcells also volunteered a few methods to beat such activity, makes one wonder where Belichick learned it from."

Answer: From Parcells.

Doesn't Robert Kraft, Scott Pioli and Belichick know what they can do with micro technology?

Answer: Yes.

The main direction is that New England/NWE press/radio thinks this is a joyride, not a problem; and the other main direction is the broaching of the topic of high tech with a Raytheon-type context, using football as a vehicle, vis a vis the Iraq war and the future of the American military.

Belichick's dad worked at Annapolis. Raytheon, with branches in Texas, Kansas and Arizona, is hq'd in Lexington; there are so many other high tech defense contractors up in Mass.

How about Tom Clancy's Patriot Games? I'm sure Ed the Fireman understands. Need I mention that Mangina and Daboll have dirty hands, more or less?

Matt Estrella lives in South Fall River, so do I; I think I saw some reporters drive by my house in a red convertible the other day. Probably from the NY Post. The whole NWE video team is from New Bedford, 15 miles away.

New York, do you need a computer? Do you need any other high-tech materials? We are here to serve you.