Can they please just win this week?

I mean, really. The fucking Bengals blow. Granted, they have some serious offensive firepower, (Palmer, Chad, Rudi is going to play, and that other WR with the fucked up name).

Look at this fucking guy! If he wasn't wearing a football uniform you would think he was a fucking gay crackhead if you just saw him on the street. That being said, I like the fact that he is nuts and he backs up his shit talk, so that warrants my respect.

Regardless, the Jets have to do some things right to win on Sunday. Here are things I think are important, but again, I am just some stupid fuck who writes on this fucking blog because my buddy asked me to and I happen to be bored at work today, so my opinion means absolutely nothing.

Keys to Victory:

1. Run the ball like they did last week! T Jones was running roughshod all over the Eagles, who have a much better defense than Cincy. (That's not saying much of course).

2. Better Playcalling - give the fucking ball to TJ when it is (insert down here) and 1. Let's stop with the fucking Hanover Park High School play where the QB does a sneak up the middle. That play works once every 5 tries and the defense knows it is coming EVERY TIME! Get a fucking clue.

On a side note, Chris Baker was reprimanded for telling the Star Ledger that they should have given Jones the ball when it is was second and one. They should have given Baker a fucking bonus for having the balls to call it like it is. Please! At least they didn't fine him though, maybe because they knew they were fucking stupid for not calling that play.

3. Chad cannot make mistakes. I'm not saying the guy has to throw for 300 yards with 4 TDs, but stop throwing interceptions for fuck's sake! There is no question that Chad is playing for his job from here on out, and for his sake, he better not fuck it up. Maybe a good outing will give him confidence for next week. If he is playing poorly, I would not be surprised if a new QB is starting the second half this week.

4. The D needs to make plays like it did last week. They gave up a shitload of yardage, but they made some important stops when they had to. The Eagles only scored one TD last week, and again, some better tackling would have helped stop that lucky score.

5. The mental aspect that they know they can't lose this game. If they do their season is effectively over, not like it's not now, but they still have a shot if they get their shit together this week.

I think they will win this week, I don't know if Chad is going to play the whole game if he starts out by playing like shit, but we'll have to wait and see.

My prediction (and they have been awful so far this year):

Jets: 27
Homos: 24

Who the fuck knows, but I know it will be close and they are both going to score some points.

All I can say is: Gooooooooo Jets!


Can you believe Vinny Testaverde is still fucking playing? Unbelievable. That guy is going to be playing in 2020, and calling timeouts to change his fucking Depends diaper.

The GMen face another "Trap Game" this week. That means that when a team gets lucky and wins some games, every game is a "Trap Game" for them because they a sham and everybody thinks they can lose to shitty teams. How many "Trap Games" do the Patriots play? None, because they are expected to beat everyone because they are good.

Speaking of the Pats, fuck them, their pretty boy QB and their cheating cunt of a coach. I hate them. That being said, I don't see anyone stopping them from winning the Super Bowl this year. I don't even see anyone making a game out of it. The AFC Championship game between the Colts and the Pats is the Super Bowl, so get your popcorn ready for that game.



Figgythemick said...

Excellent blog FuckSkull.

I have many points to make:

1. Cincy is imploding before our eyes. Every game Chad Johnson is yelling at Carson palmer, yelling at Marvin Lewis, yelling at the O-line and the defense.
Marvin Lewis, you have totally lost your team (see the arrest record the last three years). I thought he was a 'player's coach', one who young studly African-Americans like to play for. But they obviously tune him out leaving the locker room and heading to their nightclubs with weed and weapons, or assaulting police or blowing coke or whatever the else those assholes keep getting caught doing.

Chad Johnson is a rancid asshole. He points the finger at everyone in the world except himself. He cannot overcome adversity, instead turning into a temper tantrum monkey, sniffing, smearing and throwing poo. He also has plenty of time after his football career to degenerate into a crackhead who sucks cock in some Cincinatti alley, not because he likes to, but because he already blew through his football dollars on stupid, ignorant things. He's probably like Mike Tyson with his money.

Why am I hating so much? Do I actually know his financial status? No. But I have always thought he was an asshole. Him and TO. I always liked Randy Moss. I think its because he actually speaks very well, with a nice Southern accent. Moss knows how to pronunciate. To was in an interview saying "...bof of us..."

Bof? Is bof a word? 2 year olds get corrected when they say that. Chad Johnson is just as bad.

Carson Palmer ought to toss Chad a ball with a grenade inside.

2. Now, onto the Jets! If there was ever a game where Thomas Jones can take it over, it is THIS ONE. Cincy's defense is abomidable.

3. Chad will come out firing. Though I think they might as well start the Clemens era.

4. Love Vinny Testaverde. Wanted to pick him up for fantasy but he has a bye this week.

5. Defense is definitely coming together. I think if the Jets can play ball control they win the game. But it will be a lower scoring affair. Tight one? Yep. Jets 20, Cincy 17

6. What an unbelievable honor it is that you would even PUT IN a thought or two about the Giants. They must be growing on you. Thanks man, for throwing me that bone. I have my Fakehead translation book right here:

"...gets lucky and wins some games.." translates to 'Ok, this is a good team and has a chance to make some noise this year'

"they are a sham and everybody thinks they can lose to shitty teams" translates to 'goddammit they are the real deal and bitter fans of other teams want them to lose to 1-5 teams (like the Jets) but they don't'

Anyone want to take a little wager on the Indy/Ne game in a few weeks. I, naturally, select Dr. Manning and Residents Wayne and Harrison to show up perfect boy (brady). Faker, I'll take another 20 if you are down.

Upset special of the century -----
TRAP GAME! - the Cunty Pats lose to the Winless Fins!!!! Belichick is focused, but for some reason Brady and Miami don't mix. Look for the first half to get out of control, Pats 24, Fins 7. But then, in the 2nd half, the spunky Cleo Lemon directs a comeback courtesy of three Tom Brady INT's and the Fins squirt by the 'juggernaut' 28 - 24.

I have visions of Jason taylor, Keith Traylor re-injuring Baloney Maroeny, Zach Thomas sharing a concussion with Tom Brady. True, the Fins just traded away their second best offensive player in Chris Chambers, but he was a locker room cancer. Ronnie Brown is the next big back and ted Ginn Jr will see the field some more.

Anonymous said...

Great analysis Fakehead...I heard more nonsensical bullshit from a fucking Greystone patient...Sure, the Jets will move the ball against the Bengals, but the gay crackhead and the dude with the Al-Queda type name will score, alot. Go Giants. No trap, just another win against your favorite city, Frisco. Homo.

Unruly Jets Fan said...

Fakehead, I love reading your blogs. It started out so legit with real facts like about Chris Baker but you can just sense the anger seething in as the blog reads further. By the end, the F Bombs are rampant and it is a peice of artwork.

With that said, here is my list:

1) If the Jets lose, Chad will be a coach for the rest of the year. If they lose, and he is quarterback next week then I will call for Coach Cowher to be our coach.

2) The G-men have been doing well...especially on D. Eli is just lucky to have a 6'6" guy to throw to.

3) I always like Chris Baker and am glad he called it like it is too.

4) I am going to have our advertisement in a publication by the end of the week.

5) Smell ya later.

Unruly Jets Fan said...

Fakehead, I will respond to your trade right now.

Figs and Fakey: Can you go to my other blog ironhills.blogspot.com?

It would be great if you can respond to the post. I have a new writer who is actually a high school football freaking genius. Smell ya later!

blah blah blah who cares said...

I brought another reader to our blog (anonymous = homo fag) and even if he comes to bash me, it's another reader and commentor. That means I am earning the 80 bucks!

Go Fakehead!

As your the iron hills blog, I can't bring myself to comment or read it too much because it's too PG for my liking. Plus, where the fuck were you on the Mets blog Unruly? (Snap)

Go Jets!

You are out of your fucking mind if you think the Pats are going to lose to the Dolphins Figs. As for betting the Pats/Colts game, I may take you up on that. I could use that 20 bucks.

Unruly Jets Fan said...

I was actually thinking the Pats could lose to them...primarily bc they have a firey QB that no one knows. He passed for 2 and rushed for 2 TD's last week.

Smell ya later!

Dude, I am trying to get some other sources to host our site...like my newspaper.

10 Thinks I Fake about you said...

The Pats may go undeafted this year, trust me. Of course, I also thought South Florida was going to be undefeated this year as well. ha ha ha !

Mooks went to the Rutgers game last night and he said it was awesome. Probably because it was the first time he was in a place where he wasn't the gayest person there. ha ha

Gooooooooooooo Jets!

fake bet (but it's real) said...

I am betting a guy in my FF league and the loser has to post something on this blog. It should be interesting come Tuesday morning or afternoon....

Unruly Jets Fan said...

The best should be to post something on the Iron Hills blog.

But seriously folks...Dude my customer told me today that they should bench Chad now and his logic was good. He said they would probably win this weekend against a banged up Cinci Defense and then we have to live through more Chad and his rubber arm throughout the season.

I think he is right...I think we need to get Clemmens in there right now. Let him have some basic plays and learn the NFL. That way, next year he is more prepared and ready to go.

We can trade Chad for a 3rd rounder or somehitng or he can play backup for him. His day is done...sorry to say.

fakester said...

Oh my fucking God! DUDE - your friend may have logic but the coach already said Chad was starting! Get it through your thick skull, Chad is playing this week. Unless he completely shits the bed, he should do well enough and the Jets should hopefully fucking win. Then your buddy is right, Chad will start the following week. It is what is. I think Clemens will not start until he comes in to relieve Chad in one game, and the following week they will make him a starter.

You are correct in that the most anyone will give up for Chad is a third rounder. In retrospect, they should have traded him at the end of the season last year when he was still worth something. Although, if you put him on a team with a good defense and great running game with a good O-Line, he maybe a perfect fit. The Jets are no longer a good fit for Mr. Chad. That being said, I still love the guy (not in that way) and I think his mentoring is essential for Clemens.

We'll see what happens this week. Either way, next week either me or my buddy is going to write a post about which Jet (him) or Cowbody (me) they want to have gay sex with and why. I just hope I win. Goooooooooo Jets!

Unruly Jets Fan said...

Oh Fakehead you've done it again. I hope your buddy loses just because I have heard you talk about your gay fantasy's one too many times. Today Caymus called me up just to tell me that you are nuts. He must have read your blog. He is the VP of our company. I told him that you are a prominent lawyer in town and that this blog gets your alterego out. Basically I lied.

As for Chad...mother f'er. I call Mangini put Clemens in after the first quarter. We need a spark...a la Tony Romo last year.

Sane Fakehead said...

I think I have been somewhat coherent the last few postings I've done!

You're a funny man Unruly. Dude, can get rid of Fig's post about Fakehead and Fakehead's kid? It's bizzare and I don't want people getting the wrong idea (i.e., that my kid likes the Boston Redsox). Thanks. Have fun in Mendham today you fucking homo.