I think I'm in the final stage of grief for the fucking Jets... (and other stuff)

First of all, I want to say, on behalf of all Jets' fans, thanks to Chad Pennington. He will always be one of my favorite Jets because he has heart, grit and great leadership skills. His career with the Jets is likely over, and it's unfortunately time. Let's hope he mentors Clemens and Clemens learns a thing or two the last half of the season, because Chad will likely be gone after this year.

Now, as to the title of this particular post, I think I have finally overcome the five stages of grief as far as the Jets go. I was definitely in denial when the Jets played the Giants. I thought FOR SURE the Jets were going to win, up until the 4th quarter. I thought, "This can't be happening" as the Jets shit the bed and lost.
Then, when the Jets played the Eagles, I was in denial but it quickly turned to anger as they again shit the bed and lost a game they should have won. I complained that it was "not fair" and "why me", especially after the other team I loved, the New York Metropolitans, ripped my heart out and stomped on it after being in first place for 160 games of the season.
Then, with the Bengals, I started the bargaining process, "Just let the Jets win and I won't kill myself today." Ha ha, not that drastic, but I was just thinking if the Jets could beat the awful Bengals then the rest of the season could be at least okay with a few wins and Chad could show the rest of the world that he was still a starting quarterback in the NFL.

Finally, I went through the last two steps of grief, (depression and acceptance) yesterday. After Evans caught that ball that ended the game (although it was over once the Jets punted on their last real drive) I was depressed. I got more depressed when Clemens came out, although I was relieved in a way that it was finally over for Chad. Regardless, he looked depressed just standing there, like "Fucking A. I can't believe it's finally over." I saw him talking to my other favorite Jet, J. Vilma, who apparently wants out and the two were probably commiserating with one another. Then Chad was alone, just watching the game like any other back up player, and it was depressing. Finally, the game was over, and Clemens threw two interceptions and about three good passes, I finally accepted that yes, the Jets blow this year. Their season is over I hope they get some good defensive players in next year's draft. They may or may not win 2 games the rest of the season, maybe 3 if they are lucky. Vilma is going to be gone by the end of the year and I don't even understand what happened to him. Chad is done and will likely never start a meaningful game again (although I hope he does somewhere). Clemens is the future and he needs the rest of the season to have Chad mentor him and to get some experience.
Now that I have accepted that the Jets blow I feel better. There are still traces of depression but there's nothing anyone (including, apparently, the Jets' coaches) to stop the Jets from sucking this year. I hope Clemens can make it interesting. I am not looking forward to when the Jets play the Pats in December. I see the final score being 80-17, and I'm not kidding. No matter what, I'm still going to root for them, and it will be interesting to see how Clemens develops the rest of the season. Oh, and if Mangina doesn't start Clemens now, he needs to be fired, immediately. But you know what, it's going to be okay!

With all of that said, Go Jets!

1. Let's talk about the mother fucking Patriots. I fucking HATE them so much it makes my stomach cancer flare up. These cunts keep running up the score on teams like fucking Bobby Bowden used to do (when he had good teams) in college. 52-7? Bellicunt goes for it on 4th down when he is up 38-0 and 45-0? They keep passing the ball? And that fucking cunt Brady (who was wearing the gayest hat in the world at the post-game press conference and yes, I know his girlfriend probably bought it for him and I am jealous but still) can't even give the ball to his fucking running back but he has to hog all the glory and score two TDS himself? Not only is a jerkoff, but he is fucking killing my fantasy football team (I have Maloney or however you spell it and I lost to fucking Unruly - losing in FF almost hurts my heart as much as a Jets loss)!!!!!!! What the fuck!!!!!!!!! There is no reason to like the Pats. Their coach is a cheating tool, the quarterback is an absentee father, and they are too fucking good for their own good. I hope the following things happen:

1. The Simpson erase the episode Brady guest starred on forever and never release it on DVD.
2. Brady breaks his fucking leg in 20 places. (What ever happened to putting bounties on players? Why can't Mangina show some balls and put a bounty out on Brady, that would be the most awesome thing in the world!)
3. Bellicunt's sons or whatever offspring he has get another DWI and embarrasses him again.
4. Bellicunt gets hit in the head by an errant Peyton Manning pass (hopefully intentional) and he needs brain surgery and misses the rest of the season.

While I want all of that to happen, what is probably going to happen is that the Pats will go undefeated and win the fucking Super Bowl. The Colts have no chance next weekend, unless they score 65 points. Oh, the Simpons creators will never pass up on opportunity to make money, so forget about getting rid of episode of a DVD release. Shit, Brady will even commentate on that one.

2. England saw the worst football game of the year yesterday. Yeah, that is going to make them love American football, a 13-3 mudbowl with the shittiest team in the NFL and the most boring. Give me a break. Send the Bengals over there, with the gay crackhead, he would have riled up the crowd. There was no TD celebrations, (of course because boring Eli scored), no fun plays, nothing. It was as boring as a regular season baseball game between the Kansas City Royals and the fucking Pittsburgh Pirates. Who the fuck cares? Oh, and do the players have to keep complaining about the field and the long plane ride and the small hotel rooms. It's fucking Eurpoe! Get over it! No, it's not the same as the fucking Los Angeles Radisson, the room is smaller, and guess what the fucking food is a little bit different too. Jesus, you would think the game was being played in fucking Japan or some shit. It's England, you can at least understand everyone, right? Yeah, it's just like America, except most people have fucked up teeth! (Seriously though, they don't. There are a lot of hot chics in England). (If they were in Japan they would say, "Everyone is talking in this fucked up language and I can't understand what they are saying? Don't they speak American? NO! You shithead, you are in fucking Japan!) Regardless, if I were a Giants player I would have gone to the pubs and gotten hammered, especially after the game. There would have been an international incident. I also would have never cried about the time difference and how my schedule was fucked up. Waaa! Waaaaa! Why is Strahan in such a hurry to get back to America, all that he has to welcome him is an empty house, a cunt ex-wife, bills from lawyers, solicitations from dentists all over the world, and probably some cokehead strippers (okay, that's pretty cool).

3. The Red Sox won the World Series. Hey Figs, how was the walk back to your house from Rocky Stadium after that happened? I'm sure it was great (for a Boston fan). The Sox are the team to beat this century so far. With Gay-Rod opting out he'll probably play for them next year. I hope that cunt never wins a World Series.

4. Rutgers shits the bed again. I have no respect for them after the Navy booing, so fuck them and all those stupid fucks who paint themselves red to watch the games. The sight of the dejected look in their eyes after the third quarter (as they sat in the pouring rain, still their red paint glistening but never washing off) I laughed at their patheticness. This could have been their year too, oh well.

5. Do you think Tina Fey is hot?

I have been watching "30 Rock" and it definitely one of the best shows on TV. I can't figure out whether or not Tina Fey is hot. Let's face it, she has some crazy scar on her face and I don't know how it happened. She refuses to talk about it but said it happened during her childhood. Also, her ears are rather large and seem to be slanted or something. But, he is cute, she has her moments when she looks okay and she is smart and funny. So what do you think? I ask you, two readers of this blog, whether or not Fey is hot... I will say, "a little." However, she is a different kind of hot than Alexandria Ambroisia or however the fuck you say her name, because double-A is smoking hot, no matter what ridiculous get-up Victoria Secret makes her dress up in.


troll puts out a fire said...

Maybe if Pats had a bye week next week it would have turned out different.

Rome show email from today:

Hi, Jim,

Pats fan here with just a few tangible talking points. I just started watching some indignant guys on ESPN.com video about the 52-7 score and the 4th Down passing conversion in the Patriots game against the Redskins:

1. Getting good at 4th down conversion plays requires practice, the more practice the better. Going for it on 4th down againt Indy or Pittsburgh is likely to happen.

2a. A team that is cruising along in a game is worried about injuries.

2b. The Patriots are in the middle of an intense AFC race with Indy whom they see next week. The team is very focused.

2c. The point being that you don't want to get distracted by the concept of "running up the score" and end up with a hurt lineman who should be just playing the game. Safety first.

2d. This is not a solid argument, but there is something sick and scary about getting cheerful with the Redskins, with the ghost of Joe Theismann's leg hanging over the field. Shudder to think.

3. The Patriots know what it's like to be on the other end of this.

4. Are you kidding? Momentum is very important and extends week to week. If you just trudged 70 yards in the 4Q and are knocking at the door, it looks ridiculous to change up and go for a field goal. Don't look ridiculous on the football field.

5. And of course make sure you give a care about the other team and how they look - it really helps strategically to do so, whether you are winning the game or losing the game.

6. We certainly didn't get to 52 points in order to absorb a blizzard of criticism.

-- to recap

1. Practice 4th Down conversions
2. Concentration and Safety
3. Commiseration
4. Momentum
5. We're not jerks
6. We're not jerks


Mr Accountable
Fall River MA

fache blah blah blah said...

What the F? Even when he tries to make sense I don't know what the fuck Mr. A. is talking about. The year...1943.

Figgy said...

I have some points to make about a quality blog amidst a horrible losing season.

Then, I offer a psychological profile of Mr. A.

First, Oh my god, everything on the Jets has fallen apart before the journey even started. It's the equivalent of sinking in the harbor upon loading the cargo.

Second, I don't care what the score is, how they get there, good, bad or ugly - I'm happy at 6-2.

Game was ugly, but field and weather conditions were total shit. Bring on the mortal Cowboys in Giants Stadium. Time to seize control of the NFC East. Cowfucks and Redskins come to us, we still have to go to Philly.

Third, I love chicks with scars. That hottie I posted a while ago had a scar right on her face. When I see a hot chick with a scar, I'm in heat. Why? I don't know, I like that they are beautiful and that life at some point was hard on them. Survivability is sexy. Mall chicks need to be herded into one and gassed.

Plus, if the girl is smart and funny and kind of hot - she beats the eye candy. That model chick is unbelievably smart but something tells me I'd like her better if she didn't have vocal cords. Just bend over....

Next, I commend Mr. A for keeping up on us, despite the very scant silver lining that we have to write about. It feels like the Joe Walton era lately.

Thanks for talking about the Giants again. I appreciate the inclusion, even if you just lament how bad, lucky and gay they are.

Speaking of gay, I want to write a gay blog for Peyton manning. Best QB ever. When he slays the Pats this weekend, he will become everyone's hero.

Admit it you jets fans, how hard are you rooting for the Colts to shut everybody the fuck up. Belichick looks more undead every week. Is he promoting a zombie movie? The NFL needs to see if he is human anymore.

no rules, just chicks with scars said...

Hey she's cute, she's funny, she's smart, she's well schooled, she's got a cut face...what more do you want? I am with Figs, the more cut the better.

As for Mr. A...he is from Fall River, MA which means Caymus must be behind that guy bc all my company lives in that town.

Secondly, the Jets blow the big one. I almost cannot watch. The Jets blow it year after year. It is almost like I am not disappointed. It is like I am happy that they finally suck so bad that I dont have to worry about being let down in the playoffs...I am just be let down now.

fakehead said...

Figs, you had me dying about the zombie comment. I agree. I would be happy to give you 20 bucks if the Colts win.

F the Pats!

The Budd not the Beer Cuz the Budd Makes you Wiser said...

Tina Fey isn't hot. Alec Baldwin is hot.

PS - It's not me, it's you.

Anonymous said...

Tina Fey is hot. And she is funny, It's not like she has some horror movie scar, it's just a little cut probably from some "funny uncle". As for the Jets, face it. They are bad and getting worse. I could not agree more about Rutgers. Talk to anyone associated with this glorified community college and you would think you were talking to a Michigan fan. Tradition, legacy, a trophy case busting at the seams...Rutgers must have that right. No, sadly they don't. Paint yourselves red your fucking retards, pretend that your school is something other than a soon to be bancrupt joke. Look the other way when Schiano recruits guys who are sex offenders (it happened last year) and pretend to be shocked when some of these morons hold up a liquor store after beating the Norfolk States of the world (has not happened, but it is only a matter of time). According to Rutgers fans Ray "Arena Football" Rice would have won 3 Heismans by now...Face it...if Rutgers was in the SEC they would barely be .500. They are not good, but neither are the Jets.

Figs said...

Get out of here Rutgers hater. You obviously don't know what you are talking about.

Rutgers is a good school, I went there and it was hard. My masters degree was easier than my bachelors at Rutgers.

Yeah, the football team is so-so, but that's a big improvement from when I went there. And why hate, that gives Jersey a location on the college football map. Are they Michigan? No. But they ARE better than Notre Dame. Their coach is the real deal and talented HS players may stay in-state. Ray Rice could be late-first round material. I'm hoping the Giants or Broncos draft him.

Now the Jets, they are really pathetic.

fakey said...

I agree with anonymous, I'm officially done with Rutgers. But I appauld your defense of your alma mater Figs. I don't know if law school was eaiser than college for me, it was all whatever. I was drunk for most of it and I went to so many colleges (including Rutgers) I don't know what was harder. I think it all depends on the workload and professors.

I agree that Notre Dame blows!!!!!!!!!!

It's funny you mentioned them Figs, because Anon LOVES Notre Dame!

As far as Ray Rice goes, he is good, but the size of a peanut. I have a ton of respect for the guy, he gets the ball 8 out of 10 plays and never gets winded. And the other teams know he is coming and he STILL gets yards. It's too bad he is the only good player on Rutgers. The QB wouldn't start at Pope John or HP, and the WRs couldn't catch AIDS after fucking 20 gay herion addicts with no condoms. In other words, they suck.

Broncos shit the bed again last night. It's a bad run for CO as far as sports goes, but at least it is nice there.

Gooooooo Jets! I predict a huge win this Sunday! ha ha

Unruly Minutemen Fan said...

Ray Rice should stay another year and help keep the Rutgers program on its feed and help Shiano recruit some more good players.

They have NJ's all time HS leading rusher in Martinek out of Hopakong but they are going to play in in a DB role.

I think after Rice leaves it will be same old Rutgers. Although I hope it is not.

Anonymous said...

Until RU plays anything resembling a real out of conference schedule, they will continue to underpreform...I know running up the score on Norfolk State and pounding Buffalo and chanting F You Navy earns a team Top 10 recognition and the instant "dynasty" label, until there is anything resembling consistency at RU, they are, at best, a .500 SEC team.

Fired Up Figs said...

....which is STILL better than it had been since the 70's. Why can't you just take a little solace in the fact that NJ now has a college football destination?

Things are going UP, not DOWN.

Are they supposed to wake up one day and be a powerhouse like Ohio State or something? Shit, where is the sense of realism? Why aren't you happy that you have a team that can actually COMPETE? You guys talk like they are a D II school or something. Where's your sense of history? You know who played in and who won the first football game ever? Rutgers beat out Princeton 6-4 in, like, 1868 or something. That's the Civil War for Pete's sake.

Rutgers would beat Florida State, would be in there against Miami or Penn State. What more can you ask for?

I certainly won't stand by whatever assholes that told the Navy to fuck off, but is that such an insult to guys with big ships and guns? Are their feelings hurt? Would anyone care if RU kids told West Virginia to fuck off? Oh, we don't care about their feelings, just the dudes who line up behind the cannons or load the missiles and bombs that are built solely to kill other people, albeit in the name of our defense (or some money-hungry Earth pillaging war-mongering asshole who represents us).

Maybe the WHALES spoke through RU students because the Navy insists on doing global-reach sonar tests that maims and injures the key to humans future survival. Hello? Hasn't anyone ever seen Star Trek IV? The whales communicate with aliens that invade Earth in the future and stop them from killing us. The Navy kills some amazing fucking animals every day, delivered the only two nuclear bombs used by one country on another in history and they can't handle a little 'Fuck You'? We must be the most pussy military in the world! (kidding, but you know what I mean)

Guys, wake up and smell opportunity. Rutgers football being competitive is GOOD for NJ. It's like you are cavemen scoffing at a wheel because there aren't yet any roads....

fakey said...

Wow! I'm telling the Navy what you said. Some Gestapo-types will pick you up by tomorrow afternoon and then it's off to Guantanamo Bay for the rest of your life! Or at least until they dump you in Iraq or something.

Goooo Rutgers! Not. But I appreciate where you are coming from, I'm the same way about King's College! ha ha ha ha ha ha

troll follows up on blog comment said...

Survey says:

Mangini is very far from Belichick, Jets will have another coach soon.


I translate all day from Asian --> European, it's a low priority to suck up to KOA American English. One would have to have some kind of international work responsibility to understand how this just doesn't matter. It's an ethnic thing. It's the new brusqueness.


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