It's funny, crow tastes like chicken. Five reasons why the Jets lost to the fucking Giants...

1. Chad Pennington - Wow. Talk about at least one God-awful throw. It was atrocious. It's like he just threw it up for grabs, (which he did), and he didn't even look where it was going. That was the beginning of the end. The second pick that Ross ran back for a TD was a better throw and a great play. Either way, Eli actually outplayed Chad and it wasn't pretty. Does Chad ever not throw at least two picks a game now?

2. The Jets Defense - couldn't stop the run late in the game and Eli did what he needed to do to win the fucking game. They didn't step it up, but I have to give props to Kerry Rhodes (finally showing the potential that was untapped last season) and Vilma, who played well considering. And Figs was half right about Revis - he played okay but missed some tackles and and looked a little lost at times. Dyson should be ashamed of himself when let Plax take him to the house. Go low young man! And Jeremy Shockey caught some balls and scored? How does that happen? It hasn't happened all year. Did they forget that if he is left alone and the conditions are perfect (i.e., the moon is aligned, he got sex from his boyfriend the night before, nary a strand of his flowing locks is out of place, etc.) he can actually catch a pass and move his body forward? Just because it hasn't happened all year doesn't mean you leave him to his own devices! He was wide open! And of course, Eli had 2 years to throw the ball on most plays. At one point he dropped back, pulled out a carton of milk and a little cereal box and made himself a bowl of Apple Jacks, ate it, and then threw a 18 yard strike to Plaxico. I mean, he put the empty box down before he threw the ball. That's how long I'm talking here. Granted, they got to that punk a couple of times, but Eli, being the girl that he is, threw the ball like a little sissy to avoid the sack. On those plays, the tech crew at CBS said they heard Eli screaming while he was running like a five-year-old girl who saw the boogeyman.

3. Thomas Jones - who? The guy gets 30 yards a game and hasn't scored a TD yet. This is their replacement for Curtis? It's like replacing Eric Dickerson with fucking Blair Thomas. It's a bust so far. Part of the problem is that they are only giving him the ball 10-15 times a game, but how are they supposed to run more when they are always playing from behind? Give me a fucking break.

4. Playcalling - The Jets fell completely flat in the second half after getting the lead 24-14. They proceeded to get outscored 21-0 from then on. That is pathetic. Instead of throwing interceptions, the Jets offense should have been busting open holes so Jones and L Wash could gain some ground and chew up the clock.

5. The gayer team won. Rumor has it the Giants players offered to give the Jets players oral in exchange for a Jets victory. That's how gay the Giants are. The Jets refused and the Giants played one of their best games of the year. I heard that Cowboys and the Packers said that a lot of the Giants give good head (especially Shockey).

Let's face it, now that the Mets killed me, the Jets are following suit. Maybe I'm the problem. Everyone knows I am going to hell for a host of reasons, but do I deserve to have my favorite sports teams suffer my fate just because I like them? Maybe I should become a Giants fan.

The Jets need to step it up, 2nd place is a cake walk in their division if they just win a few games, and who knows, a playoff spot isn't out of the picture, yet. I'm not sure what to do about Chad. I love the guy, but something needs to click with this offense. It's anemic at this point. And seriously, if Jones doesn't get a 100 yards and a TD soon I'm going to go nuts. Philly is next on the horizon, and that is going to be rough. They cannot afford a loss if they want to keep any hope whatsoever alive of making it to the playoffs. And what did the fucking cheerleaders do? Those skanky ass hos!

On the plus side - L Wash rocks, (that's a trademarked nickname, whether it is good or not)special teams were good, except for that missed kick by Ted Nugent. He needs to get his shit together. Some great grabs by L. Coles, who is so money he doesn't even know it, and as I said earlier, Kerry and J Vilma finally did something. Yeah!

I'm not giving up hope yet. I'll say it again, Go Jets!


F.I.G.G.E.R said...

Quality reproting there sir. Yet still captured that near-beserk fury of a fan who doesn't know why his team is playing bad.
Dude, I've been there the past two years.

Jets playcalling wasn't as bad as the Giants, just the Giants made big plays. Eli can get the ball to the sideline quick, he can stretch the field too. You have to give Plax respect or it's over, he will get that deep ball almost every time with his height and speed.

Shockey has done nothing bad this year. He's playiong good,m quiet football - like a tight end should. He needs to watch some game tape of Mark Bavaro, my personal fave tight end of all time.

Saying the Giants are all gay makes it worse, you got beat down physically and mentally by homosexuals then. How does that feel? You might as well bend over.

Too many years and words of hate. Sorry no Giants fan for you. Books are closed. You aren't rich enough anyway. The only reason I am still in is that I was grandfathered in before the new income requirements tookm effect. Whew! Plus, the cost of living is half out here what it is back there, with twice the quality of life.

I would offer membership to the Unruler or Mooks, but I know they would spit in my extended hand if I did. At least they can admit when a football player is playing bad or good, regardless of their team allegiance.

Mooks, three plants baby! Totally fine.

Any Given Fakehead said...

I was only kidding about the Giants being gay! (I actually heard they are a bunch of pedophiles).

Anonymous said...

Face it Fakehead (unlike the real head you give strange guys), the Jets suck and so do you....

Figgest said...

For the record, that last comment wasn't me. Though I heard you do too. I was in some bathroom at AC and saw your number.

Unruly Jets Fan said...

that wasnt me either...it was probably one of the many readers that come to visit our blog. Jets rule and the G-men suck the big one.

If it werent for Plex, Manning would be flipping burgers.

FFFFFFFigs said...

Now Eli just flips birds, namely to you!

Anonymous said...

bottom line is the Jets got issues putting a complete game together. Chad's still one of the more complete QBs in the league. Believe the Off Coord. playing calling is too restrictive. One more fucking screen pass to L Wash and I'm going to screen. Could use T Jones more if our D showed up. No pressure and when the Dline got pressure they danced w/ the Gmen's oline. Like the Ravens and Bills game couple key mistaks killed them. Grow up guys I am a homosexual male, avid football fan and will kick all your asses.

Mr. X said...

Oh Pat, you are such a kidder