Tom Brady should have more bastard children (and by the way, the Jets blow...)

Can you blame the guy for leaving Bridget Moynhan? I mean, he left her for this:

This woman is smoking. As much as I'd like to say that Brady has been affected by the fact that old Bridge is blowing him off and, according to stupid fucking entertainment reporters, not letting him see his son, Brady is like a robot and just playing football, bastard child or not. The guy threw 27 TDs in 7 fucking games. Six yesterday! It's insane. Maybe because he has this to look forward to after games:

Maybe that is why he is playing so well? I highly doubt she has a Annie Savoy/Ebby Calvin LaLoosh type of relationship with Brady that is leading him to play so well, it is most likely the opposite. She promises him gang bangs with models for every game he wins. Oh, and to you two morons who thought MIAMI was going to give the Pats problems, nice predictions! You are worse than me managing my fantasy football team! The Pats/Fins game was over in the first 10 minutes when it was 14-0. The Pats offense just cannot be stopped. Why? I have one answer:

The Pats are going to win the Super Bowl this year, write that shit down. It's happening. The Colts/Pats playoff game will be entertaining, but the Pats will roll (even if the Colts beat them in the regular season, who cares). Bellicunt apparently took offense to the fact that everyone in the world thinks he is a big, fat loser cheater, and he has something to prove. I'm sure it must be miserable to be one of his players, but they are responding to his tactics and they sure like to win. The only weakness I see is their defense, but when you score about 38 points a game (or more) who the fuck cares. They can stop other teams enough to win. On a side note, the NFC blows. They shouldn't even allow them to have a team in the Super Bowl this year.

As for the Jets, well, they fucking blow. Chad played pretty well all considered. Playing Clemens will not change anything. They need a defensive transplant, or a new coach that plays a fucking defense that allows it to use the weapons it has, (i.e., Vilma, Hobson, Robertson, etc.). The defensive scheme the Jets are using blows. Clemens can throw the ball harder, but does it matter when the other quarterback can fucking sit down in a lazyboy and do the New York Times crossword puzzle before he has to even think about throwing a pass? It's a fucking joke.

Honestly, I echo Unruly's statements, (minus the myriad of spelling errors) there isn't much to say or do at this point. Changing the QB may be an option, but this week it wasn't Chad's fault, unless they blame that interception in the 4th quarter with deciding the game (it didn't). Who knows?!

Anyhoo, the Giants won again, yeah for those fucks. Tom Coughlin is apparently more relaxed and actually jokes with players now. Maybe because what the fuck does he care, he is a lame-duck and has nothing to lose. I hope he does well and they re-sign him so he can turn into the old Coughlin next year and the Giants will suck again. I have to say, their defense did look pretty good for the most part, even old gappy-tooth man Strahan is getting a couple sacks here and there. That Osi guy is pretty fucking good too, but I digress, fuck them, they aren't going anywhere in the playoffs even if they win 12 games this year, which they won't.

The bottom line is that I'm losing a lot of money and pride on bets involving the Jets and Giants this year, and it's bullshit. Can't the Jets just win for me for fuck's sake? Don't I matter to them? ha ha ha

Speaking of bets, my next post is going to be about how I want to have gay sex with a Dallas Cowboy to be named later. Why, you ask? Well because I lost a bet when my fantasy football team got spanked this week. I of course thought for sure I was going to win, so it was very upsetting when I realized last night that my FF team shit the fucking bed and now I am going to look like an asshole. Oh well! Such is life. Serves me right for having confidence in a team that gets your hopes up every year and you think is going to do great and really should win, especially this week. I should know that it is pointless to root for teams because they just let you down, week after week. First the Mets, then the Jets, now my fucking cunty shitty fantasy football team. Motherfucker.


Figs said...

Classic rant, Faker.
I think you need to go a few posts back and look at my prediction for the Pats/Fins game. IT WAS ALLL HAPPENING AS I PREDICTED!!! But then the god awful mess of a human being named Belichick put Brady back in the game. Damn it!!! I was on my way to 'Swami' status with that one.

Colts win next week.

Colts win in the playoffs. Battle of the Mannings for the Super Bowl.

Thanks again for the Giants shout-out. I want the Cowboys. We're going somewhere this year, provided we stay healthy. More later, Jet fuckers!!!!

fake killing the blog said...

If you all will notice I put a lot of pictures of a half naked chic, because my next post is going to be about gay sex. So much for sponsors Unruly!!!!! It was a nice run.

Ed in Westchester said...

Part of me wishes Miami had hired Schottenheimer.
Good Lord man, Chad shows he can throw the ball far and you don't do it again? You go back to dink and doink? Go long motherfucker.

Did Thomas Jones piss in his cornflakes or something? The guy gets 19 carries? You have a lead in the 2nd half, you are supposed to BURN THE FUCKING CLOCK. You do that by running the damn ball.

And the defense, sweet merciful Jesus, will someone tell Mangini that they need to use a 4-3? Great idea giving Bryan Thomas that bloated fucking contract. And the secondary sucks balls.


At least my Islanders are 5-3. Too bad that won't last.

Figgis said...

Oh yeah, a few more posts like this and I'll get banned at work. Keep the imagery clean, not the language.

I think the Jets need to work some draft magic this coming year. Infuse the D with some new, young and vicous blood. I'm trying to think of dominant DEf players in college, that Freeney-type dude at LSU maybe?

If Magini wants a 3-4 he has to gewt the players for it. Seymour, Wilfork and Warren-type players.

I am really starting to hate the Pats. They make every game look like its a Madden video game. Someone needs to come up with a DEF for a one-step drop and 5 receiver set. Hand grenades maybe? Why doesn't anyone chuck the rerceivers at the line? God, you would think some DEF coordinator would wise up, c'mon Dungy take those assholes down! If Brady actually had to hold the ball for 3 seconds then maybe someone would get a sack and on the way down break his throwing hand --- a la the Giants Leonard Marshall on Joe Montana in the '90 NFC Championship game (best def play ever).

You know what though, aside from the Cowboys the Pats (and MAYBE SD)haven't played the good teams yet. They are in the worst division in the NFL. Let's hope the Jaguars, Steelers, Titans turn up somewhere down their schedule.

And if Brady goes down, so go the Pats. Hint to any assassins out there, maybe Bridge - she can get close.


I'm walking to a World Series game from my house. Just thought someone might think that is kind of cool. Too bad we have snow on the ground this morning!

Fakehead said...

That's awsome you even get to see a WS game. I hope I get to see one one day.

I agree about the Jets D, they need to have the right players for that defense, except they don't so why don't they go back to the old defense? Fucking ridiculous.

I agree, no Brady and the Pats are done. WHy don't teams just blitz the fuckign shit out him?
That 20 buck bet is on - Pats are going to rape the Colts, prison-style.

Go Jets I guess....

Unruly Jets Fan said...

Dude, I am walking to a World Serioes game too Figs. Why constantly rub shit in our faces?

Go Fake Jets! said...

Yeah, fuck Figs and his stupid fucking Rockies and Gay Giants. Guess what Figs, you are going to walk to the stadium to see the Rockies get DESTROYED by the Red Sox. Fucking Ramirez is going to hit a bomb and just stand there like that prick does, and all you Rocky fans will be able to do is watch and cry.

F the Rockies, F the Giants!

Figgythemick said...

Thanks buddy. Given your more than proven track record ---you just got me a World Series and the Super Bowl.

How silly of me to think that you guys might say, "Gee, that's pretty cool." Whatever, it's Monday and your team lost again and you are probably $300 lighter on all the bets you lost.

I really do feel bad about the jets, I def understand why everyone's so pissy

No rules, just gay sex said...

No that is cool Figs...sorry to rag on you. We are just flat around here.

Figs, which one of us is going to call the Kenney household to make sure Fakehead didn't pull the plug for good this time. Did you read his Overfloater post?

At any rate, gooooooo Rockies! Although, I love Manny.

Figgythemick said...

I'd call him, but he never answers when I call. Maybe I'll text, my return rate on that is better.

I would write something but it just seems that the air is out of the balloon, so to speak.

fake kidding? said...

Oh Figs, I am just busting your balls, and if you READ my first comment, it says that it is COOL that you get to walk to a WS game. In fact, I said it was "awesome" and I mean it.

I don't like to talk on the phone that much, I like the cold impersonality of texts and emails. Lest someone read in my voice my depression and paranoia.

ha ha