10.04.2007

FIVE REASONS WHY THE JETS WIN ON SUNDAY...

The New York Jets are going to beat the Giants for several reasons on Sunday, but here are five in particular:
1. Chad Pennington. That's right, old rag arm can lead a team better than his counterpart in blue, Eli Manning. I'll say it time and time again, Eli ain't no leader. Chad is the epitome of a leader, and his will alone will help the Jets overcome the Giants on Sunday. That being said, he needs some goddamn time to throw the ball! The Jets' o-line will make or break him.
2. Special Teams. Which Jet is going to run back a kick this week? The Jets' special teams are better than the Giants, and Leon Washington could have a huge impact on this game. Speaking of...
3. The Jones/Washington Combo. Yes, it hasn't wowed anyone yet, but this is going to be the week when the two get their shit together and do some damage on the ground. The Giants defense, while a work in progress and admittedly getting better, still has some problems against the run and the Jets need to exploit this.
4. The Jets have more heart. I have a feeling the Jets "D" is going to step it up this week. Why? Because bragging rights and pride are on the line. It's bad enough they have to play in "Giants Stadium," but now they can finally show the tri-state area who is boss by beating the shit out of the boys in blue in the regular reason. Don't forget, they don't play in the regular season again until 2011 or something. Holding bragging rights that long means something to both clubs, but the Jets have more heart than the G-Fags.
5. The Giants are a bunch of pussies and crybabies, and for the most part their fans blow. (Figs and some others excluded). Wow. Did anyone think that would be a reason? You bet your ass it is! Because it is a Giants game, you can bet that all those old white motherfuckers in their stupid Bill Parcells blue Giant sweaters and their fucking tailgates with the tablecloths and brie and wine and crackers will be set up, and they'll all be saying excuse me on line to the bathroom, and when they see a pretty girl they will be like, "Well Chip, I must say that the young woman over there is somebody to write home about, ha ha ha" Please. Jets fans see a hot chick and they are like, "Hey stinkbox, show us your tits!" They may be pushy fuckheads who get a bit rowdy, but at least they have a personality. A little adversity over the years has made them stronger. Whereas Giants fans have had more recent success, have more money, and think they own the world because the fucking stadium is named after their team. They consider the Jets renters and they own the fucking building. And they still talk about the fact that they made it to the Super Bowl in 2000. That is when they are reminded that they almost got shut out and fucking Trent Dilfer beat them.
Oh yeah, and look for Chris Baker to contribute, as opposed to the Giants loudmouth loser Shockey. Baker quietly does his job with great results. Shockey, while admittedly quieter this year, can't get the job done and drops more shit than he catches. Baker could make the difference when it comes down to it on Sunday.
Sunday is the day where the Jets can garner some much-needed respect, especially after the whole booing Chad debacle, (which I thought was deplorable). They need it. They want it, and they'll get it. Plus they need the fucking win!

My prediction:
Jets 24 Giants 13

Write it down bitches! I'm so confident I got some cash on the game, even with our resident Giant fan, Figs.

Oh, one more reason why the Jets will win - they have fucking cheerleaders now! Granted, these bitches don't know what the fuck they are doing, (at least they didn't opening day, but maybe they got their shit together by now), but I think they are hot (couldn't tell from upper level) and rumor has it Unruly is going to interview one of them soon. Unruly told me he got a hotel room for the interview and it is only costing him $400 an hour. Wait, I'm not sure if the woman is even a cheerleader....



Go Jets!!!!!!
Oh, and here is a photo from the Jets facility being built in the best town in New Jersey, Florham Park! Once the team has relocated there I will be checking out training camp and giving reports live from the field. Presently, I just go to the construction site wearing my jersey and start J-E-T-S chants with myself. Needless to say I may be forever barred from the site before it is completed.



GO JETS!!!!!!!!! BUILD THAT SHIT!

3 comments:

FigTheProphet said...

That was good blog. Very impassioned and I like the analysis,... respectable work FradulentSkull.

However, I will be laughing when you are smashing your TV in a green rage. I'll give you the 20 bucks back so you can get started on buying a new one.

I agree that the run game is your best shot because that is the biggest weakness in the Giant defense. I think Gibril Wilson is going to have a field day with Pennington though, who you know I admire and respect, because his passes just hang up there. Still, I don't see Chad getting as rattled as McNabb was last week. Chad is more consistent though less spectacular.

I have to admit, nothing really scares me about the Jets. Eli is doing great this year, despite your blind and deaf analysis, though the run game is sub-par. Jacobs is coming back to we should have some more oooommmpph.

The Giants O-line is playing the best I've ever seen it.

Giant Defense is schitzo, but really dangerous. Chad better get rid of that ball! STrahan, Umenyoira, Tuck and Kiwanuaka are coming at you!!! Umenyoira is about to give D'Brick a lesson. Lesser of two evils? Okay, you just block Strahan then. Tuck is a fucking monster.

Revis has really panned out for you guys. Congrats. Now go cover Plaxico Burress while Amani Toomer kills you on the other side. Jump ball in the end zone? Sorry Darrell.

If the Jets perform good ball control I think the game will be close. In the end, the advantage goes to Eli and the Giants when it comes to the two-minute drill to win the game.

Special teams could be a factor. Jets: good. Giants: mediocre at best.

Those are really lame reasons to hate a football team. You don't like rich fans? You resent the fact that the Jets have played 20+ years in Giants Stadium? Who doesn't like wine, crackers and cheese? The fucking Taliban, that's who.

The Giants colors are red, white and blue, no wonder you hate them, those are America's colors! You'd rather be green and white, the colors of Syria. Why don't you just roll on out your yoga mat, take off your smelly shoes and bow to the South, cause that's the only direction your season is headed! Doh!

I'm going to look real carefully at the Jets uniforms, to make sure there are no wires protruding or any hand detonators falling out the pads.

Oh yeah, and how lame are those Jet fan lawyers who are suing Belichick and the Patriots for millions of dollars over something that every team, including their own, does - steal signals. Our fucking legal system isn't tied up enough? We need to throw that nonsense in there?

Oh yeah, I guess the Jets would've had a REAL GOOD CHANCE to beat the 2000 Baltimore Ravens. Your last Super Bowl was befopre you were alive, my friend. It's fitting your a Jets fan, that's the color of sour grapes.

See you soon, when you punch me in the face.

We are Fakehead said...

That was a hilarious comment Figs, I give you complete props. The best part was when you compared the Jets' colors to Syrias', you bastard.

I'll give you a jump ball with Blacxico and Revis, but we'll see what happens with the rest of it!

Gooooooooooooo Jets!!!!!

smell you later said...

you are a funny guy Fakehead. that is why i am going to buttfuck you if the Jets lose this weekend.