Time To Take Out the Patriots

Is anyone else f%#&^* sick and tired of hearing the media whack off to the New England Patriots yet? It's week 8 and I can't take it anymore. Something needs to happen....

Defensive Ends, far and wide, heed this call: Take out Tom Brady. I'm saying make it a blatant late hit if you have to. Other DE's in the NFL will mail you money to cover the expense of your suspension and fine. I'm willing to send a hundred bucks right now, millions of others who want their teams NFL season to count for something will follow suit. You won't feel the slightest financial pinch, I assure you.

I'm talking, really take him out. Leonard-Marshall-on-Joe-Montana style in the 1990 NFC Championship Game between the New York Football Giants and the San Francisco 49'ers (aka The Greatest Game Ever Played). Flushed by an edge-rushing Lawrence Taylor, Cool Hand Joe stopped to rear back a pass, what he didn't know was that Leonard Marshall had fallen behind him and had gotten up and was ready to kill him.

KA-PLOW!!!! Marshall creamed him from the back, ball came out, Giants recovered and won the game. But the part I want to emphasize is that Marshall not only slammed Montana down and came down with all his force and weight, he bent Montana's throwing hand back on the way down.

Do I feel bad about recommending a dirty play? FUCK NO! That shit happens under every pile up in every game anyway. It's like the Spygate scandal. An unsavory and unspoken part of the game. Just look at this down here, tell me your Jet fan heart wouldn't be bursting with joy if you saw a crumpled Tom Brady lying broken just as Montana in this picture below:

And tell me every other team in the NFL wouldn't spontaneously rejoice all at once all across the country. I want to see Dwight Freeney striding away just like good old Lenny here. I am the biggest Colts fan in the world come next weekend. I want them to knock these smarmy Patriot motherfuckers out. I want their zombie fucking coach - Belichick- to choke on a pretzel just like Dubya. Only Belichick, I'm sure, probably has food tasters or just blends it all up in a blender and drinks his meals because it's 'more efficient'.



Val Halla said...

Figgy - great post. It is bound to happen one of these days. I think everybody is sick of TB TB TB all the time.

Trust me...it will happen...maybe not this year, but it will. It always does.

Fakehead said...

I agree, somebody needs to take Brady out, or at least serve him with child support papers.

F Brady and the Pats.

Val Halla said...

I like the child support papers idea.

Doesn't he have children from two different women? Funny how when that happens to anybody but little mr-do-no-wrong in the NFL and the precious "franchise" [cheaters], it is a big deal.

No Rules, just farts said...

All these brother NFL players have kids with different women and no one talks about it. Leave TB alone.

He's just trying to have trying different parts of the buffet. You know you would want to.

I know one thing is for certain...it wouldnt be anybody on the Jets who will be taking them out.

fig said...

No, it will probably be Fakehead with a sniper rifle perched behind the west scoreboard of Giants stadium....

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MR. USA said...

Don't fall for that. It's probably a super-virus from the Patriots....

Vilma now gone for the year. Yikes. All the rats are jumping ship...

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