12.29.2006

AGAIN. Report from America's Siberia






Goddamnit. If I weren't already a yeti, this winter in Colorado would be really inconvienient.

Nothing to do but sit in the house with three feet of snow outside. Second blizzard in 8 days, we hadn't even fully gotten out of the first one. Contrary to popular belief, Colorado experiences a good amount of snow, but we actually have more days of sunshine than Florida. My buddy was skiing off his roof last week. He built a snow ramp in his backyard and made his whole yard into a little course. Videotaped themselves skiing off the roof and into a jump, like little homemade Warren Miller films. But this time 'round, this shit is boring. Nothing to do but hang out with the little Christmas trees.





And on a green note: The Jets recipe for beating the Raiders will be simple: keep the clock moving. The Raiders Defense might put up a fight initially, but they have a lame duck head coach, a lame duck offense in the middle of a lame duck season that they can't wait to be over. Randy Moss probably won't even play. Andrew Walter or the horrendous Aaron Brooks will turn the ball over, either via fumbles from sacks or by interceptions.

The Jets need to warm up for a grind-it-out type game that they will surely face the following week vs. the Colts. Fifty to sixty running plays will help Chad out immensely. I see him doing something efficient like 11-14, 205 yds and 1 td. Medium and short passes, his throws hang in the air or seem to take a while to get there sometimes.

Warren Sapp and the Raiders D is a prideful bunch, but by the third quarter they will be throwing in the towel and celebrating will be happening in Giants Stadium. 23-10 Jets, and the defense or special teams gets a score, another tune up for the second most necessary ingredient in a play-off run. Run the ball and play good defense.

It's like The Day After Tomorrow outside right now, hopefully it will melt by April and I can make it out to that eastern seaboard state from which I came.




3 comments:

Padraig O' Maolchathaigh said...

Hey, sorry about the snow dude...I was actually just talking to a guy from Colorado at work and he holds the same sentiments as you regarding the weather there (not your political views hopefully...I didn't know him well enough to ask!)...anyway, I hope you dig yourself out enough to have a really great New Year. Talk to you next year.

I'll try to get a hold of you other two bitches at some point this weekend...be good!

Fakehead said...

Ho ho ho.
It's never going to snow in NJ again, thanks to global warming. Or maybe, just maybe, the world is going through one of its warmer phases this century and maybe global warming (despite Al Gore's semi-fictional movie) is a big scam.

Kidding Figgy, just kidding! While I don't think Gore's movie is as much of a load of shit as that bearded idiot Roger Moore's 9-11 movie was, I don't need any robot to tell me we are destroying the envoirnment. I can tell by looking outside and reading about the ice caps melting.
At any rate, it looks like CO is doing just fine with all that snow. Enjoy it while it lasts, because in 50 years it's going to be a desert.
Speaking of, I wonder if every team in the NFL will have to play in a dome if global warming really kicks it up a notch. Chad would thrive in global warming with all those dom games. Damn, I wish it we were 50 years in the future, the Jets would be in the Super Bowl this year.
All kidding aside, the Jets are going to destroy the Raiders, Moss is out, their QB blows, and they only scored 12 TDs all year!!!!!!!1 LT has twice as many!!!!!!
Plus, the Raiders are and should be playing for the top pick in next year's draft. They are praying for a Lions victory.

Anyway, I can't believe that within a couple of weeks two of my 4 fav shows will be back on the air, 24 and The Shield. Yeah!!!!!! I will have to wait until fucking May for the Sopranos, then I am cancelling HBO after that ends, because HBO should be called HBBLOW.

Have a happy new year bitches!

Oh, get this, if the Jets make the playoffs and have a Sunday playoff game, I may have to cancel my party because I am going to ahve to go to a dinner with my wife's retarded third cousins. If that happens I'm going to shoot myself. I'll keep you all posted. Apparently this dinner has been planned for a while, long before the Jets had a chance to make the playoffs. That doesn't stop the fact that I'm going to kill myself if I have to go. Plus, I wanted Unruly and Shea over to watch the Jets upset the Colts. Fucking christ, this is bullshit.
Anyway, let's pray for a Jets Victory and a Saturday night playoff game.

GO JETS!!!!!

Unruly Jets Fan said...

OK, I will play in your guys "off topic" game.

First of all Figgy, you cry like a little bitch about snow. Didn't you move to Colorado??? In NJ they don't skip a beat with snow. In Colorado they just sit and their houses and say, "Whoa is me!"

As for Global Warming. Fuck global warming. We are to politically tied to oil to ever stop using it. So we are fucked there. Sorry to burst your bubble! Greenland is going to melt and cover the whole earth in water. What's so bad about that? Didn't you ever see Waterworld? So what, humans will evolve some gills. Big deal!

As for Bannister. I cannot fucking beleive the mets let him go. As for Millidge. I hate him that he screwed Trachels wife. He is major league trade bait in my eyes. I will never root for him. I would love to hear what Sienfields Michael Richard would like to say about that!!!

OK you sand doogans. I got to go before this gets really ugly!!!