Buried By Blizzard, A Faded Football Fan Looks for the Answer

Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! I know all you Jet fans out there are sleeping soundly with images of playoffs and green gumdrops in your heads. Well, allow me the first to say, good luck! As my pathetic team has now marginalized themselves, I look forward to my other love, basketball.

As you can see, I have some time on my hands. Denver received over two feet of snow in the last 24 hours and it is still snowing! Fortunately I still have heat and electricity, or I'll have to burn books and eat my dog. Either that or send my girlfriend on foot for help. Just kidding.

But seriously, Christmas came early for Denver basketball fans. By now, I'm sure you all have seen the Nuggets/Knicks brawl footage. Growing up, unquestionably, the Knicks were my favorite team. But since I have lived in Colorado for eight years now (and have watched the Knicks deteriorate into a laughingstock) and access to games is so easy for me, I became a big-time Nugget fan. It has been fun watching Carmelo change his game and attitude ever so slightly over the last three years, but all that went into reverse during the Knick game. Did anyone see what a pussy Melo really is? Suckerpunches Mardy Collins and the RUNS AWAY to his bench. If you are going to throw a punch, be a man and face the guy you are hitting. Collins wasn't even looking at Melo, his back was to him, and Melo comes with a roundhouse suckerpunch? Frankly, I thought he'd be gone for half the season. Here were a few questions during the aftermath of the Garden Brawl:

  • What were the Nuggets going to do in the very strong Western Conference without their best player?
  • Why did he do it? Melo currently leads the NBA in scoring, has the Nuggets chasing the surprising Utah Jazz for the division lead, was a LOCK for the All-Star game and was having an MVP-type season.
  • How stupid can you be? Five seconds of anger resulting in losing nearly $750,000? According to my figures Melo earns almost $53,000 per game, which equals $1086.50 every MINUTE of the game, whether he is playing or not. There are 82 games a season, not including bonus money for playoff appearances.
  • What kind of image fall-out would this precipitate? Melo was opening youth centers, and donating millions to Syracuse, and the shoes and the good commercials...And what about the Nuggets catching the Jazz and making the playoffs? What about the scoring title, the All-Star game, the playoffs?
Lots of good questions were left in Nuggets fans' laps. Fortunately, Nugget management came up with the Answer:

Allen Iverson!

To quote the immortal Flavor Flav, "Yeeeaaaahhh, boyeee!"

I, for one, am very excited about this move. I realize that there may not be enough basketballs to go around initially, and I worry about players' egos. But we have a strong coach in George Karl who I think will find a way for Melo and AI to co-exist peacefully and successfully. Our backcourt of AI, JR Smith, Earl Boykins and Melo at small forward is as formidable as any in the NBA. Billups, Hamilton and Prince from the Detroit Pistons is the only other backcourt that appears as dangerous as the one in Denver right now. And they play slow-down, post-up basketball. The Nuggets are going to run so much the Phoenix Suns will look as swift as a trailer park. Boykins and AI would be IMPOSSIBLE to trap with pressure defense. And now we have THREE guys who want that last shot, Melo, Iverson and Smith. With our hustling big men, and Camby playing at an All-Star level, I'm saying that after an initial 'get-to-know-you' period the Denver Nuggets are going to take off. Wait and see.

As for football, good luck to all you Jet fans! You guys got the best schedule going in to wrap up the year. Take care of business in Miami, and I think the Broncos will beat the Bengals at Mile High, and I think I see Gang Green sneaking in there. I feel bad for you though, the AFC playoffs will be murder, hopefully you get the Pats in the first round, because its pretty damn tough the rest of the way.

I'll be pulling for you out here. Despite being a life-long Giants fan, here in Denver I root for anything New York or close to home. Plus, Florham Park became the Jets headquarters! Maybe I'll paint the building blue as a joke.


Fakehead said...

Interesting. I feel like I just read an article in Elevation Magazine (Unruly's former "employer").

I agree that getting AI was huge for the Nugs. The fact is, he is still great. And what star NBA player isn't a lunatic?

On a serious note, I could care less about the NBA. I don't know why I like college hoops so much and when the players graduate and go to the pros it's like, "who cares?"
After Jordan, I lost all interest in the NBA. Although, I will root for the Nets, until they move to Brooklyn, then I officially could care less.

But seriously though folks, isn't this a Jets football blog?

Go shovel your driveway Mig, the NBA is lame. Although, I'm sure Shea would have plenty to say on this topic.

FiggytheMick said...

I hear you. The college game is more 'pure' because they don't get paid, but the NBA has a skill level sometimes that the kids can't match.

Sometimes I feel like basketball is a martial art. With all the energy and motion at and away from the ball, its about focus and fundamentals, simple strategy and playing together. I LOVE to watch the Phoenix Suns with all the running, passing and shooting. The Nuggets try to do the same thing.

And, if you noticed, I prefaced and concluded with Jets sentiments. But why restrict it all the time to one topic? We should philosophize about lots of sports...

Anonymous said...

I have no problem with the philosophizication of all sports. I'm only busting your figs and berries.

I just don't care that much about basketball because I'm short, I'm not good at basketball anymore and you finally are beating me out in our lifelong series (although you probably only lead the series 114-104).

Speaking of basketball, I know that Unruly likes to touch balls all the time. He loves to handle balls, and he has been known to stroke them every once and a while too. The last time I saw Unruly on a court, all he could talk about were balls, and how he didn't like sweaty balls as much because he couldn't get a good grip on them. Yeah, he kept saying he liked to feel dry balls instead.

(Am I bored or just 4 years old?)
Go Jets!

Unruly Jets Fan said...

I was thinking this was a good article for Elevation Mag, but I dont want to lose Fig as a contributing writer so that is as far as I am going with the EM talk.

I liked how you worked in the Jets into your Nuggets story. And Fakerhead is right, I do like Nuggets.

Over the summer I was in an Altanta hotel and AI was staying in the same one. Funny story, first I was waiting for the valet to come back with my car and a pimped out SUV pulls up and this gangster looking black guy comes out and I say, "That looks just like AI." Sure enough it was.

Then, after supper, I was walking back to the hotel at like 10pm and I see AI and his entorage getting into the SUV. I say to my buddy, "Hey there's AI again." As we both watch him jump into the passenger seat. Then I see him get back out of the car and I tell my buddy, "Hey, look AI got out of the car..." and this is where it gets funny. Then I say, "...and look, he's taking a piss." Sure enough, there AI stood in the middle of downtown Atlanta taking a leak where all could see.

Then him and his posse started to pull out and it took them about 10 minutes to go about 20 feet. Me and my buddy only speculated on how baked they probably were.