12.11.2006





Playing quarterback in New York is dirty business. Because both professional football teams from the Big Apple are suffering from highly schitzophrenic seasons I have decided to do a background check on the Giants' and Jets' field generals.

As you can see, I have captured them at their best. It appears that Eli Manning had a a pretty normal college experience. He's got Goldschlagger written all over his face. But where are the girls?! Dude, you are the quarterback of a major college football program! There should be bras on the ground and panties stretched over your drunk-ass head. What can you say though, I guess at Ole Miss it is still fun to draw a penis on somebody's face - goes to show the level of academic standards - even though most boys grow out of that by 9th grade.

Look at Chad Pennington posing with his illegitamite son and a Aryan afro. Just look at him. I wouldn't 'out' him like this under normal circumstances, but he is not producing for the Jets and thus the smear campaign and character assassination has begun. Jets fans expect less out of their quarterbacks, but even so - Chad's on the hot seat.

Though their fans and chants are endearing, c'mon, the Vietnam War was raging the last time the Jets won a Super Bowl. They had to borrow a Giants coach (Parcells) just to get to an AFC Championship game in 1999, which they lost. During the 1980's and 1990's managing games was enough to have winning seasons in the AFC. Not anymore. Clearly, the class teams of the National Football League are in the AFC. The Jets are going to need a smart, efficent offense (like the West Coast short passes and throws to the fullback and running back) and a punishing defense. Chad is certainly smart enough, but is his arm up to it?

Getting out of their division alone will take some doing, New England, Buffalo and Miami play each other extremely well, regardless of their records. And after that the Jets have to clear the Colts, Jaguars, Steelers, Ravens, Bengals, Broncos, Chargers and Chiefs - all perenially competitive teams. I don't think Chad has better days ahead of him, they are behind. As maddening as Eli's play is sometimes, he's still a young guy with the prime of his career ahead of him.

Both are cerebral, team players. Chad's shortcoming isn't his fault and is a physical one. Eli, however, has all the tools, the pedigree and a prestigous organization to command, now he just needs to seize permanent confidence and control. Plus, if the Giants trade Plaxico for Randy Moss and draft a complement back to Brandon Jacobs to replace Tiki, they will be competitive for years to come.

13 comments:

Unruly Jets Fan said...

Figgy, what the hell was that about? You are freaking funny man!

Chad's hair looks like yours, at least, what your hair used to look like before you went for the shaved look.

At any rate, not so sure what to comment about.

Shea Gadfly said...

This is why Giants fans shouldn't be allowed to post on a Jets blog...I'm not saying Miggy the Fick doesn't make good points but who cares whether the Giants shit or get off the pot. As far as I am concerned, there chances of winning ever again died with Wellington Mara. They are the Islanders of the NFL in the Tri State. Who cares if they are in first place or last?

Fakehead said...

I agree, Fuck the Giants. (No offense to you Fig).

FiggytheMick said...

How can one be so smart and so dumb at the same time? You know why the Jets color is green? Simple: envy.

Call me when you guys can get your own stadium. OH, that's right, the Jets weren't big time enough for that, they need to tag along with big brother Giants. Furthermore, since Hess died the Jets have done SQUAT.

Last time the Jets won the division? Let me call up my 86-year-old uncle to find out. How much longer can the Jets keep this up? They are the Chicago Cubs of the NFL, lovable LOSERS.

Remember the time the Jets had Bill Belicheck as their Head Coach? Oh yeah, he woke up the next day no longer drunk and resigned. Belicheck hasn't had a drop since. And won three Super Bowls.
Perhaps, Jets fans, you'll see a Championship in your lifetime, but I think Big Blue will steal your thunder every time.

Fakehead said...

I do remember the last time the Giants got the Super Bowl and got their asses handed to them by the Ravens. Who was the QB for the Ravens anyway? I think it was Frank Franco, but then again, it didn't matter. I don't think the Ravens' offense even took the field in that game. They didn't have too, because the Giants were fucking awful. They haven't done shit since, and they won't, as long as Eli is at the helm. (For more information, see the Colts' record of success with a Manning at the helm).

FiggytheMick said...

I really expected a better arguement from an attorney.
Allow me to rebut. Your comments, Counselor, yes the Giants did lose in the Super Bowl to the Ravens, but who didn't? They went through the playoffs like a chainsaw that year, dispatching the Broncos, Titans and Raiders in the playoffs, ON THE ROAD, like they were nothing.
And at least the Giants MADE it to the Super Bowl. Made an appearance at the Big Show in the 80's, 90's and 2000's.

Furthermore, does NFC East Champion in 2006 qualify exactly as 'haven't done shit since'?
Your linking Eli to his brother's play is nonsensical as well. But in that line of thinking, I could very well forsee Tiki's destiny by Ronde's Super Bowl ring. Thereby linking Eli to it as well. Simultaneously validating and invalidating your method.

Fakehead said...

I spend all day thinking, I can't be expected to write well on this blog (for more information see my blog posts and comments). Fine, the Giants are certainly not living up to expectations this year. And like Peyton Manning, Eli will never win a Super Bowl. Write it down.

Anyway, as for my future arguments, next time I'll try to step it up a notch.

Snoochie Boochie!

Unruly Jets Fan said...

Frank Franco, I havent heard that name in a dogs age.

But this is a Jets blog...readers rely on the contributing writers to write some on the Jets.

This is way off topic. This is just a warning but next time the word Giants is mentioned more than twice in a blog you will be fired.

Thanks for choosing, JETS Blog, blog, blog!

Unruly

FiggytheMick said...

Let me beat you to the punch. I resign.

I don't know a whole lot about the Jets. Maybe we should post our playoff predictions.

Anonymous said...

May I interject in the fun?

Gadfly, you compare the Giants to the Islanders? That is not fair to the Islanders. :)

The Jets won the AFC East in 1998.

Piss on the Giants.
Eli sucks. He is not a leader, and he is a terrible passer. Great trade by Accorsi there.

Shea Gadfly said...

Fair enough Ed, the Icelanders did win a whole lot in the late 70's and they are a pretty good now (despite popular thought on Mr.Wang).

The jury is still out on Eli but I agree that the G-women would be better off with Rivers. I just think the Giants are not very good. We play in the AFC with some pretty good teams. The same cannot be said for the New York Football Giants.

Anyway, we need some more wins (3 would be nice)...Any predictions from you clowns on this weekend's games?

Fakehead said...

Let Figgy stay in. We are not going to quash his First Amendment Rights.

As for predictions. Well, the Giants are going to lose, who cares what the score is.

The Jets are going to win, 27-24.

I'm hoping the score is higher and Jericho kicks ass. He is starting on my fantasy football team (10-4 this year) and I am in the first round of the playoffs as a 3 seed. I am playing a guy I already beat twice this year and I'm afraid I'm going to shit the bed. We'll see. The guy is a 2 seed and has a better squad.

Anyway, Go Jets!

Unruly Jets Fan said...

Acorsi made a great trade. The Giants got Eli and the Chargers got a better QB and a probowl LB in Merriman.

I am just glad the Jets didnt make that trade.