Playing quarterback in New York is dirty business. Because both professional football teams from the Big Apple are suffering from highly schitzophrenic seasons I have decided to do a background check on the Giants' and Jets' field generals.

As you can see, I have captured them at their best. It appears that Eli Manning had a a pretty normal college experience. He's got Goldschlagger written all over his face. But where are the girls?! Dude, you are the quarterback of a major college football program! There should be bras on the ground and panties stretched over your drunk-ass head. What can you say though, I guess at Ole Miss it is still fun to draw a penis on somebody's face - goes to show the level of academic standards - even though most boys grow out of that by 9th grade.

Look at Chad Pennington posing with his illegitamite son and a Aryan afro. Just look at him. I wouldn't 'out' him like this under normal circumstances, but he is not producing for the Jets and thus the smear campaign and character assassination has begun. Jets fans expect less out of their quarterbacks, but even so - Chad's on the hot seat.

Though their fans and chants are endearing, c'mon, the Vietnam War was raging the last time the Jets won a Super Bowl. They had to borrow a Giants coach (Parcells) just to get to an AFC Championship game in 1999, which they lost. During the 1980's and 1990's managing games was enough to have winning seasons in the AFC. Not anymore. Clearly, the class teams of the National Football League are in the AFC. The Jets are going to need a smart, efficent offense (like the West Coast short passes and throws to the fullback and running back) and a punishing defense. Chad is certainly smart enough, but is his arm up to it?

Getting out of their division alone will take some doing, New England, Buffalo and Miami play each other extremely well, regardless of their records. And after that the Jets have to clear the Colts, Jaguars, Steelers, Ravens, Bengals, Broncos, Chargers and Chiefs - all perenially competitive teams. I don't think Chad has better days ahead of him, they are behind. As maddening as Eli's play is sometimes, he's still a young guy with the prime of his career ahead of him.

Both are cerebral, team players. Chad's shortcoming isn't his fault and is a physical one. Eli, however, has all the tools, the pedigree and a prestigous organization to command, now he just needs to seize permanent confidence and control. Plus, if the Giants trade Plaxico for Randy Moss and draft a complement back to Brandon Jacobs to replace Tiki, they will be competitive for years to come.